Sunday, November 30, 2014

letting go

Yesterday I let myself go. I let myself live the moment.
As I was pushed, flogged, whipped, I realised that I wanted it so intensely that I didn't care anymore for the consequences. By consequences, I don't mean harm. I know, I just know there will never be harm. He is far too cautious, too careful, too sane. But yesterday I let go of the worries I harbour about going home with marks. Yesterday my need out-weighed my fear of consequences.

I was free in that moment. I was a sweaty insane mess of need and I was free. I was grateful for the treatment at His hand that I could barely endure. I was grateful for His belief in me when I said I needed His cold, strict, Steel.

Ed Freeman


  1. Great that you let yourself go. I am sure you were proud to wear his marks when you went home. Hope they weren't noticed.


  2. I love when I have those freeing moments. I'm so glad you got to enjoy them.

  3. Your beautiful post made me shudder in desire, knowing what that feels like. I do so hope that you find the path where you can live with that freedom everyday, and not have hide.


  4. ooooo such a wonderful delicious feeling having that you are still wallowing in it...smiles


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