I am needy. I have been unwell for a number of months now. Physically unable to take the punishment of the room under Sir's hand.
Yesterday He said that today He would take me for a nice drive in the country and some lunch. I was little disappointed. I am usually up for a nice drive and some lunch and usually He takes His girl on His motorbike. I shyly said,
'But that's nowhere near the room.'
'No its not. You haven't been well enough.'
'I was naughty last night.' I said.
'I saw some pictures of girls bound and tied and I came five times.'
I knew this would bring punishment but I needed to come. I realised that I needed to be spanked. I needed release. Its not easy for me to admit to Him that I need to be spanked.
'....Hmmmm well we will have to sort that out won't we little girl? Do you want to go to the room?'
'I don't think I am well enough for our usual intense play Sir.'
'That wasn't the question. Do you want to go to the room?'
'I need...I want...'
'What do you need?'
'I need to be spanked, Sir.' I was on the phone but my eye went down and I felt myself flush as I stood out on the busy main road on my way to a high level meeting in the organisation in which I work.
There was silence for a while. I couldn't hear His breath through the afternoon din of the traffic and spring heat.
'1045, be at the room. I will take you for something to eat and then we will come back to the room.'
I am waiting now to go to the room I am anxious about my ability to please Him in play, but then it occurs to me...He knows me. He will not push where I am unable to go. That is a feeling that I have not really internalised or believed before today.
Its all about the trust isn't it?