Friday, October 31, 2014

His girl needs His hand

I am needy. I have been unwell for a number of months now. Physically unable to take the punishment of the room under Sir's hand.

Yesterday He said that today He would take me for a nice drive in the country and some lunch. I was little disappointed. I am usually up for a nice drive and some lunch and usually He takes His girl on His motorbike. I shyly said,

'But that's nowhere near the room.'

'No its not. You haven't been well enough.'

'I was naughty last night.' I said.

'Oh dear!'

'I saw some pictures of girls bound and tied and I came five times.'

I knew this would bring punishment but I needed to come. I realised that I needed to be spanked. I needed release. Its not easy for me to admit to Him that I need to be spanked.

'....Hmmmm well we will have to sort that out won't we little girl? Do you want to go to the room?'

'I don't think I am well enough for our usual intense play Sir.'

'That wasn't the question. Do you want to go to the room?'

'I need...I want...'

'What do you need?'

'I need to be spanked, Sir.' I was on the phone but my eye went down and I felt myself flush as I stood out on the busy main road on my way to a high level meeting in the organisation in which I work.

There was silence for a while. I couldn't hear His breath through the afternoon din of the traffic and spring heat.

'1045, be at the room. I will take you for something to eat and then we will come back to the room.'

'Yes Sir.'

I am waiting now to go to the room I am anxious about my ability to please Him in play, but then it occurs to me...He knows me. He will not push where I am unable to go. That is a feeling that I have not really internalised or believed before today.

Its all about the trust isn't it?

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Submission nine revisited in the 30 days of submission

9) Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them? ....Revisited

impressed  with the answer to no. 21 Mentor Daddy has asked that I revisit submission 9 and identify if there have been any changes. In 2012 I answered this question here. Back then I was very inexperience with rules in real time with Local D. Now rules come and go in reality and that's possibly as life in another relationship demands. That is the worst part of life with Dominant and life with non-Dom.

The short answer to the question at hand is YES! More than accepting or expecting rules, structure and limits, I need them. I am a girl who needs to be controlled and rules are an extension of that when physically we are not together. It makes me feel cared for. (I do know how twisted that sounds in a vanilla sense but in the Daddy/girl dynamic, it is perfectly sane). I love that it gives Him pleasure. It is easier to make decisions if I know the rules. I hate to have choice. It is fun, titillating and exciting to have the rules and know that there are consequences for flouting them (and I often do as I am  naughty little brat also!).

Rules are a part of my submission and if circumstances were different and I belonged 24/7 to my Daddy Dom I would be under more strict and constant rules (that in and of itself scares me I must admit.) I have learned though that I can ask for changes to rules in a moment - May I please please please please wear panties Daddy cos I have to go to the doctors appointment...or the dentist? There is nothing like the vulnerability this lil girl feels as she lay on her back, mouth open and knickers off under the hands of a man who holds bright steely silver instruments of torture!

I am a girl who needs to be controlled. I need rules, structure and limits.
from the Interweb


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

submission 21- a coming of age

Daddy Mentor asked: 'Here is one of the questions from your 30 day list---answer this one for Daddy: what position makes you feel most submissive'

Hello daddy

Thank you for your question. The position that makes me feel most submissive is on my tummy, legs together and cock in my arse.  Hand on my throat or pulling my hair. His legs apart, either side of my thighs and penetrating me anally, taking His piece of arse for His pleasure.

This is my most submissive time. Complete submission. Completely giving in and giving over everything that is me to Him. Not on my knees, head bowed funnily,physical connection is the key. Taking me in this way.

Even from non Dom in early days of exploration, I was made to feel this way. Completely taken, completely controlled. Used, though not abused.


submission Daddy's way

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

lost plug?

I'm in trouble again.

3 days ago Sir mentioned that I was to perhaps wear the anal plug today.
No real problem...except one.
I am working today, out at work. I am bare arsed and that's hard enough when moving into summer dresses and bare legs.

I ignored what He said about the plug. I hoped it would go away, slip His mind. Then yesterday He mentioned it again.  I begged Him to reconsider...I told Him, 'I have lost the plug, I can't find it anywhere.' *eye lids fluttering*

He laughed but wouldn't be moved, saying I would have to search for the silver metal piece until it was found. He suggested I look in my little bag of toys. The little draw string bag which carries nipple clamps, bells and a sparkly bitch collar. 

I went to work today plugless. Though I love the plug. I am terrified of it at work. I am terrified my sluttishness will be found out. Something that I can't afford at work in a position that would be affected by this

So..I am in trouble...a bratty girl in trouble again.