I think I'm needing time.
Time has always been my most precious asset, my most valued 'thing'.
I am a loner.
I love my family, my friends, all those people special in my life, but occasionally I need to pull back, to scale down, to retreat.
It usually happens to me (this feeling) when I have a lot on the go.
At these times I need to learn to say 'no'.
I seem to have a thousand domestic projects on the go.
Decluttering, scaling back but building at the same time.
I have finally embraced the knowledge that my future is my responsibility only.
I have never shirked responsibility and in fact, I have been responsible for the well-being of my family for a very long time now, but this is a knowledge that I am responsible for my family's future.
I have accepted that I am alone in my partnership with hubby and have tried to find my own happiness inside our unconventional relationship.
I am not wearing my heart on my sleeve, this is just how it is.
It is what it is.
My acceptance and indeed embracing of this fact has been a long time coming.
Working towards my future I have manage to increase my working hours after months of trying. I am looking to my financial security and I am looking to my creative security and contentedness.
Now I need some time, just to breathe. To pay attention to all this and for the waters to stop whirling around me.
I don't know where D/s fits into all this.
|photographer unknown via blogland|