Thursday, February 13, 2014

trouble

I am in trouble and or the first time ever I'm not looking forward to the consequences.

I was silly and stupid and did a dangerous thing. I could have hurt myself or worse, or someone else.

Sir said 'No'.

He said 'Stop'

He told me what to do...and I did not hear, I was not listening.

I am ashamed and remorseful about my behaviour.

I have apologised.

He said 'These things happen'.

I thought it can't be that easy but I took him at his word.

I was aware that deep down I wanted him to not be calm and patient and wipe it away with well these things happen.

I wanted him to be stern, I wanted him to say there will be consequences.

Eventually I said, 'Will I be punished for this'. It took me a while to ask. I didn't want him to think I misbehaved in order to incur his wrath. I have poked before to gain a slap, but I have never willfully engaged in risky behaviours.

He replied in a ringing endorsement 'OF COURSE, YES.'

I felt strangely calmed. I am aware of a new range of emotions. Oh! Yes he does care. The exact opposite of how I have felt about corporeal punishment in my life, my vanilla life, to date.

photographer unkown - source: For the love of a sub photogallery
 


1 comment:

  1. I felt strangely calmed. I am aware of a new range of emotions. Oh! Yes he does care. The exact opposite of how I have felt about corporeal punishment in my life, my vanilla life, to date.

    I so understand this sediment. Good luck with the punishment. They are never fun, but cathartic.

    ReplyDelete

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