M has give me permission to post her question here:
My question to you is how you deal with living with a vanilla husband and having a Sir as well?
I find myself thinking of my master almost all day long, and getting quite emotional after a week without seeing or talking to him. I feel very vulnerable and get insecure about him and our relationship. I do not want to demand too much attention, he has his own life, but things just get worse until I can speak to him.I feel sad at the lack of 'playing'.
My Master and I had a good talk about this and he thinks I just need to be in a D/s relationship. That I am longing for more guidance in my life and I just get too little of that. He thinks these feelings of mine will not pass.
I'm so curious if you have ever had the same issues, maybe you have past them and will tell me how you did that.
Thank you for your question and I will start with how I deal with a vanilla husband (actually my life partner and not a husband) and a Sir.
The short answer is...I don't. My relationship with Non Dom Hub has suffered for sometime and we circle each other but we rarely connect anymore. We remain together but in honesty I am not happy in the relationship. A variety of reasons keeps us under the same roof living a life (of sorts) together. This has nothing to do with Local D in my life though Non-Dom may see it otherwise, but that is my guess, I have not asked him and to some extent, I have given up caring. Even if my relationship with non-Dom ended today, I would not seek another man. For a very long time (years) I tried my hardest to keep us together. Now I dream of the day I don't have to be with him.
As far as Local D (Sir) is concerned, I have never felt particularly vulnerable emotionally. We were very clear in the beginning that this was about D/s though this does not exclude emotional attachment of course. I have two men in my every day life; Non-Dom Hub and Sir. Sir contacts me everyday (unless he is very busy with work). I have not felt insecure about this. I think it is mainly to do with our agreement that this is a D/s relationship and we are both committed to other people. I am happy for this not to become blurred or grey. I have been careful not to say things I think might be misunderstood or lead down a path we have mutually agreed not to go. He says I just overthink all this and I need to just accept it for what it is and enjoy.
I would suggest, as you have already done, communication, communication, communication. I believe that a good Dom can't understand what's going on for you if you don't tell him (or her). Maybe you could ask if your Master might consider giving you some instruction via text or email with a mechnism of report back to him if you are unable to talk. I think you have done the right thing in telling your Master how you are feeling. As a good Master he will no doubt make sure he cares for you and controls you as you need.