Sunday, January 12, 2014

crossroads? or.. the path winds

I have been neglectful of writing my experiences and thoughts here. I have been remiss. I am finding myself closer to Sir (local D) though any sort of real relationship 24/7 is impossible as we are both partnered to other people. In the past I have been admonished by some who read here for this choice . Bless their little cotton socks that they think to know me.

I have been reticent to write here in the recent past in case I write something that might disturb my Sir. I have no wish to cause him distress or delve into issues that I will have to spend days in clarification. I know he's reading this now and just to say...if I have a problem with anything Sir, I will talk to you and not blurt it out here in the first instance.

I started this place to record my thoughts on this journey and I need to continue down that track.

I doubt my submissive self  right now and have for a little while. I don't know what I want though I do know I want more discipline. I want a strict and heavy hand. Sir brought me to this place. He seduced me into the reality of this world. He led me to trust him with my safety, both physical and emotional. I trust him implicitly. I remind myself that I used to trust my husband implicitly and look what happened there!

anyway onward...
photographer unknown


  1. You have been missed.

    Again, we are parallel. I've become closer to my Sir, though 24/7 is not plausible. I've also asked for a stricter, heavier hand. He is slowly giving it to me. Allowing me time to realize the truth and trust Him more.

    Don't compare your trust with husband and trust with your Sir. Allow yourself to be more vulnerable with your Sir so He can guide you more.

    1. Thanks HS, its good to be back in the saddle so to speak. A heavier hand is something I have come to over time. Now to convince Sir!

  2. The nice thing i think, about these lifestyles is, that we are all different, and we all have different wants and needs .... what is right for one is not for another. i thrive on strict and get down with no direction . ( though of course i can function without Him) .
    Your post opened so many thoughts but i can not explain them here , here is hoping you find what you both wish for at this moment in time.

    1. thanks for your comment saffy and welcome.

  3. Its really nobody's place to judge you...they are not in your shoes! i respect the fact that you have been able to be honest with your husband and are fortunate to get your needs met.

    Oh the problem is this is all very seductive isnt it? its like a drug but one doesnt want to be weaned off of lol


  4. oh I dont take it to heart tori. they don't know me and I put my thoughts in this public space, if I didn't want to here opinion then I could just shut ths down to the public.
    You are right about seduction...a drug one becomes quite addicted to.


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