Friday, December 19, 2014

all He wants for Christmas

Trying to find something to give Sir for Christmas. 
What do you like Sir?
A triumvirate of questions.
He wouldn't tell me.
So I found the perfect gift and I told Him,
'You are worth every penny, Daddy Sir'.
 I handed Him a Christmas stocking filled with sweet little chocolates and a glint in my eye.
He laughed at my 'funny little ways'.


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

security panties

I have made a discovery.
Disconnection from Sir is played out in a physical sense.
The last little while I have felt disconnected from Sir.
We are both busy, caught up in life, nothing unusual, just work, family and life.
I feel disconnected, insecure, separated, vulnerable...and when I feel this distance, I'm naughty. I act out. Not for attention, not for punishment, but for security.
I don panties.
When I was thousands of kilometres away in a big busy city, I wore panties...no permission. Well permission retrospectively sought (and granted when I explained how insecure I felt with the distance, without Him near.)
I notice that other sub girls (and boys) find doing certain things, observing certain rules, only serve to make them feel closer to their boss man (or woman).
Me?... Nah ah! The further the distance, physical or metaphorical, the more I need my panties. The sweet filmy, frilly little things, that form a thin see through blanket over my buttocks, imbue me with a sense of security when the security I find in Sir is missing for one reason or another.



Friday, December 12, 2014

daddy's darling

Sir called me a name.
He has called me this name a few times.
It sits strangely but warmly in me.
In fact I think I love it.
He calls me His slut, His girl, His bitch,
but when I pick up the phone and he says 'Hello darling,'
I get a little gooey.
Noone but my father has ever called me darling.
I like it... in a gooey kind of way.

Daddy's darling

Sunday, November 30, 2014

letting go

Yesterday I let myself go. I let myself live the moment.
As I was pushed, flogged, whipped, I realised that I wanted it so intensely that I didn't care anymore for the consequences. By consequences, I don't mean harm. I know, I just know there will never be harm. He is far too cautious, too careful, too sane. But yesterday I let go of the worries I harbour about going home with marks. Yesterday my need out-weighed my fear of consequences.

I was free in that moment. I was a sweaty insane mess of need and I was free. I was grateful for the treatment at His hand that I could barely endure. I was grateful for His belief in me when I said I needed His cold, strict, Steel.


Ed Freeman

Saturday, November 29, 2014

goldilocks and the Wolf


What a day with Daddy Sir (Local D).
Late breakfast in the warm air and then to the room.

She said as they sat languishing after a rather heated session,

'You can beat me hard if you want to Sir.'

Sir had been taking care with His girl. She had not been at all well and was very slow in recovering. Inching her way back to her former self and really still not there.

'I will not play hard with My girl until she is better.'

She sighed.

He pinched her nipple and slapped her breast in answer. She squeaked in pain.

School holidays were coming and she felt keenly that she needed His strict and heavy hand before she was needed elsewhere for 6 weeks. She trusted that He knew best though and was cautious about being the brat she usually was in demanding His strictness. He had made her come several times and with each the tears rolled down her face, She wasn't crying but she was emotional and the release was wonderful with each wave of ecstasy she collapsed into Him an emotional bundle of lil girl.

'Go in to the bed', He said.

She turned as her naked arse skipped away and with a glinting smile in her eye said, 'bring some restraint Daddy.' That's as far as she dared push. He liked her to push. He liked her naughty brat.  It gave Him a reason He said....

What reason? Did he need a reason she wondered. She bent willingly under Him. He could do anything He desired and she often wished for more, but His road was slow and steady and He had made some not inconsequential gains this way. She no longer feared the path. Like goldilocks, she was brave in the dark forest in the face of the Wolf.

He brought her favourite to the bed.  Rope. She loved the feel of the rope on her skin. Rope was gentle but cradled her tightly without pain and torture, but it was unyielding and firm. She lay on her back as instructed and each wrist was bound in turn. The rope wound around the wrist three times was threaded through the iron bar of the bed head and around the other wrist three times. She could roll back and front but she was not free to move in any other way.

'Roll over.'

She lay on her stomach, her naked arse on display. The force of the flogger took her by surprise. The sting was unlike she had been used to. He had not touched her with the leather for months, she had been unable to take it. Now it was like beginning again. He didn't start gently, or so it seemed. The force and the sting had her writhing and squealing. Tears weren't far behind.

'Arse up!'

'Higher and spread your legs.'

His voice was harsh. Strict. Cold. It reverberated through her as she struggled to comply. The flogger caught her moist fleshy pinkness. She screamed in pain. There was no pleasure here. She knew He would love that. The tears flowed, her breath ragged as He whipped her hard.

She needed this. She had known she needed it. She didn't know why but she did. It brought a sense of  peace to her if she could just reach the other side of it. She let go. A crying, screaming writhing mess. There was no subspace here to protect her. She had forgotten how to enter it. She couldn't even think clearly enough to make it happen. To let it come. He had never beat her with the leather in this position. Her pussy was exposed and being punished. The pain was unbearable..but she did bear it. She took it because she needed it, she wanted it and He loved it. He had been so patient and now she could give Him this.

When it was over He held her. He untied the ropes and wrapped her in his body. The Wolf had devoured His goldilocks and she knew she wasn't going back to grandma! She was a sweaty mess. 

My good girl He whispered in her ear. That made her smile.  Subspace came. She floated in His arms and never wanted to leave that place.


tight rope

'Restrain me Daddy Sir...tight'.


He was cross with me. He told me I was naughty that He knew best. The rope had been too tight He said.

He had asked me if it was tight. 'I think this is too tight.' He said, 'I will loosen it.'
I shook my head.
Bossman's rope.
I needed it tight and the space of the sub was all around me.

This girl craved it to be tight, she liked it tight as she lay on the bed, arse up to greet the flogger as it bit into her fleshy pink pussy and bottom. As she screamed and wriggled with the pain He brought the flogger down harder.

The girl rarely gets to keep her marks because she must go home to another, but today, its only small, but oh the memories.

He sent her home with instructions not to display her wrists lest there be a ruckus.

She took this picture for Him. She knows He likes to mark her and feels sad that she can rarely give Him that.




Wednesday, November 26, 2014

come

Go home,
Take your clothes off,
come with Mr buzzy.

YES SIRRRRR!!

Fay Wray and Lionel Atwill










Saturday, November 1, 2014

driving His girl to orgasm

From the drivers side of His big car He reached over to grasp His wet, naked pussy.
The traffic whizzed by in the bright spring heat and with His other hand he flicked the pages of the street directory.

The girl groaned as His fingers explored the softness between her legs.

He found His destination and pulling His hand away to drive again He said,

'You keep playing there My girl and I think you can come for me.'

She stretched her feet dropping her sandals to the floor. He drove the big car as she played. She was terrified...anxious not to be seen in such a public place completing such a private act. Once she started though she was unable to stop. He had given her the freedom to play, His permission to play. She took the opportunity and quickly came to climax. She whimpered and cried out as wave after wave came and went.

'Again' He demanded.

Again she complied. Breathless happy and dizzy she looked about her. Who in the cars travelling in the same river of tarmac had seen her ecstasy, her pleasure, her raw sex as she displayed it at His express desire?

Photographer unknown

Friday, October 31, 2014

His girl needs His hand

I am needy. I have been unwell for a number of months now. Physically unable to take the punishment of the room under Sir's hand.

Yesterday He said that today He would take me for a nice drive in the country and some lunch. I was little disappointed. I am usually up for a nice drive and some lunch and usually He takes His girl on His motorbike. I shyly said,

'But that's nowhere near the room.'

'No its not. You haven't been well enough.'

'I was naughty last night.' I said.

'Oh dear!'

'I saw some pictures of girls bound and tied and I came five times.'

I knew this would bring punishment but I needed to come. I realised that I needed to be spanked. I needed release. Its not easy for me to admit to Him that I need to be spanked.

'....Hmmmm well we will have to sort that out won't we little girl? Do you want to go to the room?'

'I don't think I am well enough for our usual intense play Sir.'

'That wasn't the question. Do you want to go to the room?'

'I need...I want...'

'What do you need?'

'I need to be spanked, Sir.' I was on the phone but my eye went down and I felt myself flush as I stood out on the busy main road on my way to a high level meeting in the organisation in which I work.

There was silence for a while. I couldn't hear His breath through the afternoon din of the traffic and spring heat.

'1045, be at the room. I will take you for something to eat and then we will come back to the room.'

'Yes Sir.'

I am waiting now to go to the room I am anxious about my ability to please Him in play, but then it occurs to me...He knows me. He will not push where I am unable to go. That is a feeling that I have not really internalised or believed before today.

Its all about the trust isn't it?

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Submission nine revisited in the 30 days of submission


9) Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them? ....Revisited

impressed  with the answer to no. 21 Mentor Daddy has asked that I revisit submission 9 and identify if there have been any changes. In 2012 I answered this question here. Back then I was very inexperience with rules in real time with Local D. Now rules come and go in reality and that's possibly as life in another relationship demands. That is the worst part of life with Dominant and life with non-Dom.

The short answer to the question at hand is YES! More than accepting or expecting rules, structure and limits, I need them. I am a girl who needs to be controlled and rules are an extension of that when physically we are not together. It makes me feel cared for. (I do know how twisted that sounds in a vanilla sense but in the Daddy/girl dynamic, it is perfectly sane). I love that it gives Him pleasure. It is easier to make decisions if I know the rules. I hate to have choice. It is fun, titillating and exciting to have the rules and know that there are consequences for flouting them (and I often do as I am  naughty little brat also!).

Rules are a part of my submission and if circumstances were different and I belonged 24/7 to my Daddy Dom I would be under more strict and constant rules (that in and of itself scares me I must admit.) I have learned though that I can ask for changes to rules in a moment - May I please please please please wear panties Daddy cos I have to go to the doctors appointment...or the dentist? There is nothing like the vulnerability this lil girl feels as she lay on her back, mouth open and knickers off under the hands of a man who holds bright steely silver instruments of torture!

I am a girl who needs to be controlled. I need rules, structure and limits.
from the Interweb


 

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

submission 21- a coming of age

Daddy Mentor asked: 'Here is one of the questions from your 30 day list---answer this one for Daddy: what position makes you feel most submissive'



Hello daddy


Thank you for your question. The position that makes me feel most submissive is on my tummy, legs together and cock in my arse.  Hand on my throat or pulling my hair. His legs apart, either side of my thighs and penetrating me anally, taking His piece of arse for His pleasure.


This is my most submissive time. Complete submission. Completely giving in and giving over everything that is me to Him. Not on my knees, head bowed funnily enough...no,physical connection is the key. Taking me in this way.


Even from non Dom in early days of exploration, I was made to feel this way. Completely taken, completely controlled. Used, though not abused.


XXX





submission Daddy's way

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

lost plug?

I'm in trouble again.

3 days ago Sir mentioned that I was to perhaps wear the anal plug today.
No real problem...except one.
I am working today, out at work. I am bare arsed and that's hard enough when moving into summer dresses and bare legs.

I ignored what He said about the plug. I hoped it would go away, slip His mind. Then yesterday He mentioned it again.  I begged Him to reconsider...I told Him, 'I have lost the plug, I can't find it anywhere.' *eye lids fluttering*

He laughed but wouldn't be moved, saying I would have to search for the silver metal piece until it was found. He suggested I look in my little bag of toys. The little draw string bag which carries nipple clamps, bells and a sparkly bitch collar. 

I went to work today plugless. Though I love the plug. I am terrified of it at work. I am terrified my sluttishness will be found out. Something that I can't afford at work in a position that would be affected by this
information.

So..I am in trouble...a bratty girl in trouble again.




Monday, September 29, 2014

a (sub) space of her own

I have a dream.
I love to make art, to create, to paint and to take pictures.
I am lucky to be building a shed to house my dream.
This will be a space for me and my art.
A space where I am free to create.
It will be a space of peace and reflection.
Every girl needs a space of her own don't you think?

photographer unknown

Sunday, September 28, 2014

don't stop!

'Don't stop touching yourself.'

The car whizzed through the countryside. Her dress pulled up to her hips, her fingers working her clit. He drove the car looking for the right place to stop. He was going to fuck her, His girl. She worked her clit, she was getting closer and hotter.

He found it! he backed the car in amongst the trees and getting out He walked to her side of the car and opened the door. She kept fingering her clit.

"Stop."

She found it hard.

"STOP!"

"Get out!"

He pulled her and she slid her bare feet down out of the high 4WD to the cool earth.

"On your knees."

She dropped to her knees as He pulled his hard cock from His jeans and pushed it into her mouth.

"Open, take it!"

Her tongue tasted His excitement, His salt, His precum. She worked His cock. Her throat took Him as deeply as he demanded. She gagged on His hardness.

He pulled her up by her hair and spun her, bending her over the front seat. He entered her wetness, her heat grew. His hand pulled at her breasts, taking them from the bra that held them tight, squeezing until she yelped. Fucking her hard, He took His pleasure. Used His girl. She was naked in the afternoon sun and the gentle breeze. When He was finished with her, she felt like the cat who had caught the canary. She was drifting with contentment for being His fuck slave.

amateurallure.com 2011 via ftloas photo gallery

Friday, September 19, 2014

a little slut for the 'good girl'

A funny thing happened on the way to the laundry.

The girl, His girl was in a tile shop picking out some lovely little things.
The man helping had an exceptionally deep and dominant voice, respectful and smooth.
The asked him for permission to take a tile as a sample.
His policy was unfortunately in the negative to what the girl hoped.
She asked politely if she might buy a tile and return it if it wasn't suitable.
He didn't keep this tile supplied.
She asked if she might borrow his sample tiles if she returned them within 3/4 of an hour.
The man said in that deep smooth voice.
"I would be open to that."
The girl was surprised but thanked him every much and said,
"I promise I will return the tiles unharmed as soon as I have seen them in the space I want them to go."
Then it was said, those words that make this girl quiver...

"Good girl."

Oh my!!! Thought the girl. Could he see her blush? Could he see her quiver? He wasn't even her Sir, her Daddy! Did he know? Could he see who she was?

Just when the girl was beginning to doubt her commitment in her own submission, a stranger reminded her she was fully present in it.


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

wilted under the veil..

I have been thinking lately about my place in my own world. There are shifts and ebbs and flows in me.

My non-Dom hub is still chugging along in my life but I don't feel as I used to feel. We went away together for a week, no family, just us. It was like wearing a comfortable old jumper. It was nice, we shared walks and meals but I was aware that I was going through familiar motions. Learned behaviours, habitual movement, routine workaday gesture.
There is no heat.
No fire,
no life.

I feel sad for this loss. I am aware of a contradiction though.  I am currently sitting on the couch with the laptop on my lap and my feet resting on non-Dom's lap.

in truth I crave the freedom of no relationship. No responsibility.

Is it my dalliance with the s in D/s, my mambo with the m in SM, the boogaloo in the b to His D in the BDSM, that hs brought me to this?

The grass is ALWAYS greener is it not?

photographer unknown

...and I am a good girl Daddy...

So naughty and perhaps a little crass..but after all thats the pleasure in it :)

Sunday, August 10, 2014

public exposure

She sat with Him in the restaurant. They had been for a ride around the country side on His motorbike. He had fed His girl on delicious morsels and sweet drinks while she warmed her cold skin by the open fire.

At the end of their day,she sat at the table by His side protected from the outside world. He wanted His girl. The glint in His eye was unmistakable. She had learned not to say anything when He was like this, she knew she would come off second best. To challenge Him. To disbelieve Him. To say no to Him in a fit of frenzy, would lead to her downfall. She had learned to do as she was told without question, without challenge or He would feel Himself compelled to prove His power over her, His ownership.

'Undo your pants'.

Eyes wide, breathless in an instant, to resist, hesitate or delay would make things worse threefold.
Unzipped and unbuttoned. His hand drove into her already slick pussy taking her breath away. His hand grabbed her wet pussy flesh and mound forcing from her a squeal. He meant to make her squeal. She flushed, her eyes darting to the other patrons in the bar, the barmaid casually reaching to glasses and fussing around the end of the bar where all she had to do was look up in the girls direction and she would see what a slut this girl was.

The girl whispered in a frustrated tone,  'Oh why doesn't she move to the other end of the bar!'

His large fingers slipped into the girl's pussy. The girl thought she might wither with embarrassment. She searched the ceiling for cameras. She searched the other patrons. No one seemed to have noticed. She fumbled next to her throwing her scarf over that which she knew was so plainly on show. Her mind rocked. She wished for an end to the delicious punishment. She was torn between the panic of public exposure and the heavenly play in her pants.

Finally, He pulled His fingers from her pussy and pushed them between her lips and into her mouth. She tasted herself, her heat. She was salty. He pulled His fingers away and immediately kissed her mouth.

'Do your pants up.'

photographer unknown

just like this

This picture evokes in me all the things that it is to be my Sir's girl.
He ties me like this.
He gags me like this.
He sits in front of me like this.
He pulls my nipples into his mouth like this.
He addores me and my body just like this.
And the way the girl looks at Him, adoring His touch, His pleasure, is just like this.

photographer unknown

Saturday, August 9, 2014

7 fundamental characteristics of a Daddy Dom

Sir sent me this and said it described who is was..I read it and He is this person described.


7 Fundamental Characteristics of a Daddy Dom


(Sunny megatron's excepted article written by WizarDavid and which I recommend that you follow the link and read)

Just what is a Daddy Dom? Well, to start with, a Daddy Dom is first and foremost a Dom. He chooses the subcategory of “Daddy” within the lifestyle of dominance and submission (D/s). Let’s get one thing out of the way right at the beginning. A Daddy Dom does not promote incest or pedophilia as the kink may be misunderstood by ignorant people. Rather, in this specific subcategory, the dynamic is set up for the male dominant to be called “Daddy,” and the female submissive (sub) to be called “girl,” “little girl,” or “babygirl,” etc. Rarely is she called “daughter,” as this evokes too many parallels to incest, which Daddies and their girls detest. And while some doms and some subs may have been victims of family violence, incest, or other abuse, Daddy Doms and their girls are not over-represented in these categories any more than the general population.
The following are some of the fundamental characteristics, and indeed needs, that all Daddy dominants seem to share universally: 
1. Her Number One Fan, the Daddy usually believes in his girl more than she herself does, and often uses the wisdom of his age to see her not only for who she is, but also for who she can become. A Daddy’s eyes light up when his girl enters the room. He is proud of her and praises her for not just for what she accomplishes, but for what she attempts, and for who she is. He accepts her for who she is, flaws and all. 
2. And he knows all her flaws because he is also her ultimate Confidant, allowing her to bare her soul to him beyond all others. She may have many different relationships and types of friends in her life. But Daddy will be her “umbrella confidant.” The one with whom she can talk about absolutely anything and trust that what she tells Daddy stays with Daddy. He is the one from whom she withholds nothing. 
3. He is the Protector of his girl against real or perceived threats, dangers, and bad people. Sometimes a little girl just needs to curl up in Daddy’s arms and smile at some of his bluster, and sometimes the Daddy may have to act on his protective instincts. Pity the person who messes with a Daddy’s girl. 
4. Her Teacher and mentor shows her new things that come from a longer and possibly wider set of life experiences. Daddy likes to take his girl to places she has never been, feed her foods she has never eaten, and do activities she has never enjoyed before. He is never so happy as when he can look in her eyes and know he has given her something she has never had before. This also translates into sexual adventurism for some Daddy/girl couples. He symbolically deflowers her on a regular basis, whether that be sexual or just in exposure to new life adventures. 
5. He wants to be her Guide and advisor. As the girl makes her way in the world, Daddy wants to be there to answer her questions, calm her fears, make her insecurities go away, and give her sound advice based on his years of experience. 
6. Anchor. The Daddy dom is an unyielding, unmovable anchor in the storm. No matter what happens in the girl’s life, she knows her Daddy will be right there where he has always been, and she can hold onto that even if she is blinded by her own tears. Daddies know the storm will pass, and she will be safe, but she needs something to hold onto that will not move. 
7. Disciplinarian. When the girl acts badly, she expects to be disciplined or punished for the infraction. Most Daddy dominants find it occasionally difficult to keep this up, especially as the affection for their girl grows. They would love nothing more than to spoil their girls, but they realize this is the path to ruin. One a girl begins to believe she can manipulate Daddy, she no longer sees him as her dominant, unyielding anchor. A girl needs the stability and protection of a man who is more dominant than she is. To demonstrate that characteristic, Daddies must sometimes be excessively strict and rigid, more so than they would in normal relationships. The act of disciplining the girl may be used as part of a sadomasochistic activity.  
...
In addition to these practically mandatory characteristics, some couples add their own sadism and masochism to the mix, and may use the concept of the wolf or lion and little lamb to describe the way in which the Daddy simultaneously protects his little girl from the world, and yet wants to dominate and devour her sexually. As a sadist, he may create the very tears that he will later kiss away. Sounds sweet, and yet terrifying, if you are not accustomed to the world of sadomasochism in which these participants operate. But to a Daddy and his girl who are into BDSM, this is the most perfect of scenarios they can imagine to act out their fetish.

A Daddy usually knows he is one. He doesn’t have to be convinced of it, or taught how to be a Daddy. He may only need to have his innate Daddy characteristics pointed out to him. It might happen in the throes of a sexual activity when she exclaims “Daddy” for the first time, and the light goes on. Similarly, the little girl usually knows she needs a Daddy without having to be taught how to be his little girl. Once they identify themselves as Daddy/Little Girl, the draw is more powerful than many other forms of attraction, because it is rooted in deep-seated and old emotions that may not have any other outlet.

While some of these characteristics could easily be applied to any good male-female relationship, there are some that require something quite different than the “50/50 partnership” that is so often touted as the most healthy. This is not 50/50. This is a Dominant/submissive relationship, and all the characteristics should be viewed through the lens of D/s. 
While many of the characteristics could also be easily applied to any good D/s or Master/slave relationship, there are some characteristics that are decided different. Not all Masters consider themselves their slave’s number one fan or her umbrella confidant. Teacher, guide, and anchor are not necessarily roles that a Master is required to adopt.
Photographer unknown

Thursday, August 7, 2014

naughty daddy's girl

I have been naughty.
I have denied Daddy Sir of His pleasure.
I had reasons..I didn't do it lightly.
I was tired.
It was after midnight.
I text Him for permission.
There was no answer.
I needed it, I needed to sleep.
I wanted it, I wanted to sleep.

I pulled out a little vibrator curved like a U.
I excited my clitoris, my vulva, my vagina.
A gentle buzz.
A massage in the area of mayhem.
So relaxing.
The end of the U slipped into my bottom while the other end entered my slick pussy.
So wonderful. My toes burned with the sensation released from my pussy.
My fingers danced and swirled on my clit.
My pussy clenched and wave after wave moved through me.
Breath expelled.
Muscles taught, tight and release.

She falls deep into a relaxation that bring blessed sleep.
She knows that Daddy Sir will punish her severely.
She was desperate to sleep to stop thinking.
So she was disobedient.
He was not there.
Her punishment will come.

photographer unknown


Saturday, August 2, 2014

a little playmate for little

I have been very brave. I know some may just scoff at my naivity, but this girl is very shy and very cautious, too cautious in this little's view, but it is what it is and I am who I am.

I have written to the girl who is talking Sir. We have exchanged a couple of emails and I have to say I like her very much. Sir says we could be twins! we are so much alike in our outlook and life paths.

This scaredy-little-kitty is feeling very brave, a lot excited and only an itty bitty nervous. This little wants to meet her, if for nothing more than the possibility of a friendship with a like minded girl. I have no real-time confidants with whom to share a tea (or something much stronger) and chat about all issues 'little'. Even with all the great girls here it's still got to be nice to feel the warmth of a rl friendship.

Of course I could be reading wayyyy tooo much into all this..LOL

photographer unknown


i crave the liberation of the slave girl

tori over on Pains Pleasure has just written a beautiful passage in answer to a question, what is it like to be a slave 24/7.  I began to read it to my Non Dom hub and he began to shake his head. I stopped reading it to him and said, 'Your judging...don't judge' He looked at me his thoughts turning over.

'I don't think you know you judge.' The same silent look, thoughts round and round.

He fancies himself a liberal thinker. Lately he has not been so open. I think this has more to do with his jealousy than his real discomfort with the activities of a slave.

He judges me in this same way. I am trapped with him. He has put me in a cage..not the liberating cage of a slave but in cage of guilt and judgement.

I crave the liberation of the slave girl.

photographer unknown

Friday, August 1, 2014

i am a brave scaredy-kitty

Daddy Sir has be corresponding with a woman, a sub woman, with the view to bring into our little world of TTWD.
 
Its early days but she sounds lovely  (in text) very early days though. Sir sent me one of her emails with His instruction attached, 'your turn'.
 
My response? I freaked out frankly:
 
"Daddy u want me to reply to her?
I can't daddy, I am far too shy.
She seems so very elegant.
I feel very slutty compared to her. I swear, I say the c word.
I don't know if I want an ongoing thing with her.
She seems much braver than me.
I don't know what to say to her.
Please don't make me Daddy xxx
I would like to know though if she is able to be a little dominant with me under your instruction.
I will try and write to her.
I will send it through you for approval but I am feeling very nervous about this."
 
I have a knee jerk reaction to a lot of things and it is a skill I have learned over a lot of years to remain silent while I think. I often fail in employing this skill when Sir leads me to something that makes me nervous.
 
Make me do it Daddy. Push me Daddy Sir.
 
photographer unknown
 

Thursday, July 31, 2014

to the Owner of the room

I have been instructed to write to the Owner of the room. To beg her to leave a peice of furniture n the room for Sir's use of His girl. I was instructed to write to her on the wall and text her when it was done.

My problem? I spelled her name incorrectly. Sir has allowed her to identfy a suitable punishment for His girl. I am a little grumpy as I had confirmed the spelling of her name with Sir before I wrote it. Are you sure Sir, because it is usually spelled .... ? Yes I am sure, He assured me.

Did He set His girl up? I think He may have! Mean Daddy Sir.


photographer - His girl little



Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Another's Rules

Other girls/boys rules have always held some fascination for me. I yearn for rule that I can observe everyday. My rules can only be observed in His company and I enjoy them. I have had trouble sticking with them sometimes because of the irregularity with which His girl can see Him. When I am not with Him I am with my own family. It is hard in this situation to adhere to rules, as those of you who share my situation will know.

I followed a link to a blog which showed in my visitors and found 'Owner'. He has not written since 2012 and there seems to be no known end to Owner's blog. I followed a link to his submissive's rules. Owner's submissive is/was his wife who after some years had learned that she was submissive though her husband always knew himself to be Dom. I cannot deny his rules excited me. He categorises his submissive's rules as Submission,  Obedience, Dependence, Appearance, Respect, Discipline, Seating, Standing, Walking, Talking, Serving and Commands. The general nature of the rules allow for his submissive to know exactly how to behave at any one time in any activity in which she engages. Perfect! The only rule I think I would find difficult is the rule re serving. I am not a very good serving submissive. I am not a girl who finds pleasure in serving through cooking, cleaning etc. Maybe if I didn't work outside the home and was the main source of family income, I would be able to take more pleasure in these tasks! Sadly, right now, these tasks just serve to make me more tired!

What do you think about Owner's Rules? Are your rules specific or more general in nature? Do you follow rules well or are there barriers to obedience?

photographer unknown





Tuesday, July 29, 2014

take the lead Sir

Her eyes were down cast.
Naked, hands behind her back, she whispered

'The lead and the gag Sir.'

As He looked at her and considered in silence, she imagined the surprise that might be entering His mind.

She had never wanted the lead. She hated the thought of it. To her, in the very early days it was a humiliation she could not stomach. To be treated like a dog. Over a long time she found a need in her growing. About the time He removed it from the bench when she visited, she became aware that a kernel of desire had begun to shine inside her. Every time she went to the room she quietly scanned the bench for the lead. Hope faded in her that He would make her take it. Things seemed easier when He demanded she accept things. The things that made her nervous, squeamish but with that seed of excitement.

'You want the lead little girl?'

'Yes Sir... and the gag please' she said hardly above her breath.

'Well you will need your collar too. Are you sure you want the lead little girl?'

'No Sir, but I need it and the gag. It makes me feel submissive.'

'Very well.  Go to the bench and bring me what you need.'

She moved quickly across the dimly lit room and deftly picked up her collar and her gag and delivered it to Him with outstretched hands and a slight bow to her head. He fastened her collar and took her to where three leads hung on the wall instructing her to choose one. She liked the one that was short with a moderately heavy silver chain and leather handle. He oblige her in her whim.

Click!

The black ball entered her mouth. The buckle was fastened at the nape of her neck.

He wrapped the lead in His fist and pulled her to a more useful position.


photographer: Jorg Timm
 Source ftloas photo gallery


Monday, July 14, 2014

submissive panties

Today I am in panties, again!
Flesh lace.
BUT that's not all!!
It gives Him pleasure that I am in two pairs...at the same time.
Flesh / nude lace underneath, red lace on top.
I am uncomfortable and a little irritated. His intention entirely.

Some transgression led to this, a cheeky smart mouth I am hearing!

A text arrived..You may remove one pair.

I text for permission to remove both.

Not until your smart-arsed mouth has learned to cease and desist.

Panties until friday, He will review then.



Tuesday, July 8, 2014

panties study reveals all!

http://elitedaily.com/news/world/study-women-average-pair-panties/
A new study revealed that women now own an average of thirty-four pairs of underwear. Perhaps the Fifty Shades of Grey craze explains why the number is three times what it was in 1999, when the average was just 12 pairs.
The figure has increased because of a large desire for “special occasion undies.”
According to a poll of 200 women for Dr. Beckmann (Glo White), a woman’s typical underwear drawer contains 20 everyday pairs and 14 for the “best.”
56 percent of women said that they have separate underwear collections for special occasions and for everyday comfort.
61 percent of special occasion underwear retailers admitted that the Fifty Shades craze has made them more likely to purchase “special occasion underwear.”

I have a lot of panties though I have not worn panties regularly in a very long time. I would have at least 34 pairs, many more in fact. Nothing to do with shades of grey...I just loved panties.

My main problem was highlighted when visiting the doctor for a skin cancer examination the other week. I couldn't find a thing to wear! I was to be examined, top to toe, front to back and everywhere in between for the possibility of skin cancers. I text Sir for permission to wear panties as I was going to the doctor I revealed. He sent His permission almost immediately, not letting me sweat too much. Then the real task began. To find a pair of panties which was not see through was my dilemma. Anything that was not see through in the front, had no arse in the back! I began to panic as I made mental notes to purchase a pair of reasonably 'decent' panties which I could wear to such occassions in the future.

I eventually found  pair. They were still filmy and see-through but the pattern on them was so busy and dark that I  was sure he couldn't see what lay beneath!



Monday, July 7, 2014

‘Mr Steinberg’s Model.’



These photographs capture an Alternative Model in Newcastle. Nothing is known of their purpose or the model in the photographs; they are simply referred to as ‘Mr Steinberg’s Model.’
The collection raises strong questions of an unknown Newcastle. Their dark and seductive content is suggestive of an underground and alternative scene with tones of theatrics and burlesque.
This is a collection of photographs found in the Turners Collection at Tyne & Wear Archives. Turners Photography Ltd was a commercial photographic company based at 7-15 Pink Lane, Newcastle. The collection has been sourced in contribution to Newcastle Fashion Week 2013.
http://www.retronaut.com/2013/06/mr-steinbergs-model-newcastle/








 

panties punishment

I am being punished with panties. I have not worn panties for so very long and though I love the look of my arse in panties to wear them now for longer than a few minutes is uncomfortable. Sir uses this as a punishment.

I had been silly and doubted Sir, so he made me wear panties yesterday and today, red and pink respectively.

The text came through when I was out and about.

'Go and put panties on, and you can wear panties tomorrow also.'

He didn't say why, but I knew. I had been grumpy and snappy in text and email. He had said I could apologise once I had read my email and assured myself I was not being sweet. I had argued was not snappy in my email.

'I'm sorry Sir.' I said after I read it.

I went to a cafe and found the bathroom. I put on red panties which I keep in my handbag for just such an occassion and reported the task done, the panties in place and the discomfort I felt.


Summer Panties by Gizmoatwork
:icongizmoatwork:

Summer Pantiesby Gizmoatwork




Monday, June 30, 2014

firsts task (part two)

Pegs on breasts and fanny (pussy for the Americans amongst us) clipped on and pulled off at a rate of knots as I scream with an induced orgasm. Well Sir You know I don't like this one. This one makes me feel nauseous, the pain of it does. Sensitive breasts give way to the pain. I don't like the idea of how ridiculous I must look with pegs in rows on my breasts, my beautiful breasts.
 
The St. Andrew's Cross - strapped, chained, embracing the cool wooden restraint - I have always found the cross comforting. I like to be restrained and I like the flogging I receive here. This was the very first thing you did with me. Gentle flogging, too gentle to keep me engaged now Sir. You have drawn from me an endurance for much more severe treatment than that first day.
 
Orgasm control - love it and hate it. The more I come, the more I want. Denial works for me only to dampen my desire. Constant play is what makes me insatiable. So...I am not fond of denial for that reason. After a period of denial I lose my desire to play.
 
Mr Buzzy- the Hitachi magic wand - LOVE! nothing more to say.

Squirting - OH My! now you made me squirt and I was appalled. I am still not convinced of the nature of the juice! I felt so ashamed, embarrassed when You first brought me to this. Now I love it because I know You love it from me. It makes me feel completely under Your control and You know how I love Your control.
 
Letting go of my control, giving it to Sir - This is the center piece of why I do this. To give up. To give everything to Him. No responsibility but to use my safe word if I need to.
 
Butt plugged - oh the deliciousness of anal play - I am an anal princess, and anal slut, an anal whore. This makes me wet, instantly. It also creates an anxiety that my kinky self will be found out by those who don't shared the shiny world of kink.
 
Nipples clamped - ouch! and then...yummy Daddy! in the beginning my tender nipples could only tolerate a few short minutes. Now...how long you got? But stop pulling Pleeeease!

Face slapped - yum, yum always yum. You slapped my face and took my breath away and I remember looking back to You with a lustful smile in  my eyes. Instantly hot, instantly on heat, breath rapid.

Breast bondage - I like rope. The more I have, the more I want. I love the feel of rope and love to watch your large capable hand tying and knotting it with such confidence. My breasts standing proud, but again I am not fond of how silly I feel. I think it slightly humiliating.

Spreader bar - yes! spread and used, yes!

Anal licking (receiving)- Oh my! So naughty, so good.
 
Breasts flogged - not bad, but tender breasts mean I don't tolerate this on too hard a level. I like how my breasts bounce and sway with each strike. I love to tease You and push You to hit harder until I squeal.

Pussy flogged - Most recently experienced and I LOVE this.

Whipped - yes!

Gagged - I resisted this for so long and then one day I picked up the gag and begged you (probably demanded) You use it. It brings me instantly to smallness, to submission. I cannot look you in the eye when this gag is in my mouth. I am embarrassed by the look of it in my mouth through I am not sure I have ever seen it. I  love the gag. It immediately transports me to deep inside my submission.
 
Collared - I love this particularly when You hook Your finger through the O ring and pull and push Your girl for Your pleasure.
 
Breath play - oh My! Ultimate control..I am a control junky (Giving it up).
 
Choked - see breath play.

Anal with legs closed tight - see breath play.


Submissive in training....Training quiets my mind.

photographer unknown
 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

task of firsts

I am tasked with recalling my firsts with Sir..sheesh that will be a huge list! I have until next Sunday night to recount them with what I liked about the first or equally what I didn't like. No discussion will be entered into. I am just to 'do it'.
 
I have been thinking and off the top of my head the were a few but not inexhaustible list of firsts that came to mind in no particular order.
 
Pegs on breasts and fanny (pussy for the Americans amongst us) clipped on and pulled off at a rate of knots as I scream with an induced orgasm.
The St. Andrew's Cross -  strapped, chained, embracing the cool wooden restraint.
Orgasm control.
Mr buzzy- the Hitachi magic wand.
Squirting,
Letting go of my control, giving it to Sir.
Butt plugged - oh the deliciousness of anal play.
Nipples clamped - ouch! and then...yummy Daddy!
Face slappped,
Breast bondage,
Spreader bar,
Anal licking (receiving),
Breasts flogged,
Pussy flogged 
Whipped,
Gagged,
Collared,
breath play,
Choked,
Anal with legs closed tight.
 
Submission....
 
I will think more over the week. He has given me enough time knowing there is a lot to write.
 
unknown photographer
 

Saturday, June 28, 2014

tasking the girl

The dust is settling. I have let it settle and am reconsidering my submission.
I saw Sir and said to Him,

'Do you think I'm really submissive Sir?'

It seems a strange question after this last few years of experimenting, living and playing with this side of myself. I still doubt it though. I tend to go through phases. I am not  child but I still go through phases. I am inconstant with my projects. I will flit from one to another and be passionate about each one. Learning all that I can about each passion.

Sir gave me lots of reasons he saw that evidenced my submissive self and each day now he is working to send me instructions to reinforce my submission to Him. Tomorrow, after a night in nakedness with no hot water bottle! I am to wear matching bra and panties, paint my toe nails red and the fingernails blue. I am to wear a little set of chains in my belly button and pictures to be taken to prove my devotion to His pleasure. I am to come both today and tomorrow. I am happy to receive these instructions. I think I need them.

Mentor Daddy has also sent me a task. I have three days to complete it. I think Sir and Mentor Daddy have been talking. There are more tasks than I can poke a stick at currently. I am not fretting I will just 'do it.'

Slowly I will navigate my way back into the me I need. I will find my way back to where I need to be. Find my way to where I am more my whole self and less of my half self.  A fraction and decimal point away from my whole self. Moving fraction by fraction toward the whole of me.

photographer unknown


Thursday, June 19, 2014

giving in or giving up?

Life is a bit gruelling here. My non Dom found out more detail than he should have re Sir and some conversation and plans we were making.

Long gone are the days non-Dom approved of my liaison, my partnership and my submission to Sir.

It has come to a head. I'm worn down and don't feel brave at the moment. There are reasons I stay with non-Dom that will one day change. For now I am with him, in name. I do not dislike him but he is not  partner to me in anyway that he used to be emotionally. Don't assume either that  this is  'normal' situation. There are circumstances beyond both non-Dom's control and mine.

I'm not looking for sympathy here, but to simply write it down, get it out onto the page.

My task at the moment is to reassess. Reassess my life with Sir, my connection with Him. He knows this and so reading this will not come as a shock. I feel like a canary caught in non-Dom's huge web. I am tired of the dance with him, the fight to be myself.

If I give up my grip on the submissive in me I fear I will wither and sink into unhappiness. If I give up Sir I must give up my submission because I don't want another Sir, nor can I imagine kneeling to another Sir. I trust my Sir deeply and my trust in these things has not been easily won.

My problem is that is is so hard to hide everything from non-Dom. He doesn't trust me, but then I don't trust him. I am tired of the subterfuge. I am tired of the energy it takes to live the lie. I am tired of non-Dom's view of me as abnormal, the things I do as abnormal, having two men as abnormal. In who's frigging world! I'm tired of the passive aggressive way he holds me in this relationship. He will not try and understand my needs. He did try once. He tried to be dominant with me once, but he says though he enjoys the activities, his D to my s is not sustainable for him. I understand that and have not pushed him or chided him when he finally made that decision. He has not afforded me the same consideration. He is jealous of another man with me. He is jealous of my time taken from him. He is ego assaulted (my view) less than second best he called it. The trouble is I believe that's all it is. I don't believe those feelings come from a standpoint of love. Whether or not that is an accurate belief is not the point when I believe it.

I am angry that if I give up everything that I am, it is because he wants it. I am held here by obligation currently, but I want to be free to be me. My activities if any,  have to be held to one weekday when he is at work. The rest of the time I scream inside. I burden myself with all that it is to be wife, mother & father & partner because I am carer to my non-Dom. I am tired of the battle. So it is for this reason I am trying to make the decision to give up everything, and Sir. Only for this reason. The pressure of the lie and the passive aggressive life of discontent from living with non-Dom.

I am meeting Sir in a few days. I shouldn't be, but I am. I need to see Him. I need Him to take me in hand and help me. We will talk.

photographer unknown

I  have also come to drink  little too much vodka on a daily basis of late, not something  have traditionally done- something I might have to get under control.


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Sir's mistake!

She stood with hands behind her head.
She goaded Him to hit harder.
Her breasts swung under the repeated thud of the flogger.
Her eyes gleamed with need, with lust.
"Harder Sir" she exclaimed.

He stopped.
She followed His gaze looking down at the trickle of blood on her breast.
A tiny mole had been damaged and blood flowed from it.

She looked back to Sir, a little surprise.
He stood the flogger tight in His hand, the lengths of leather swinging at His side.
The expression on His face was a boys expression of being caught in naughtiness.
The tables turned for just a moment as she looked into His eyes incredulously.

"It wasn't me!" He claimed.

She laughed out loud at the picture of the flogger still swinging from the last lash and He, proclaiming His innocence in being party to the cause of the bloody flow.

photographer unknown


Monday, June 9, 2014

in the shadow of His floggers

He tapped the cane on my arse, His arse.
He tapped and stung His breasts, His thighs, His body.

Skin
red,
stripped bare
welts
sting
whip
the sound of sharp and rapid staccato.

His girl wet,
excited,
nipples proud,
she giggles,
whimpers,
moans.

His pussy throbs,
He holds His pussy hard in His huge man hand.
She gasps,
wets,
slick,
chalk to wall Rule # 10.


In the shadow of His floggers and the chains the rule is written in scrabbly script on the wall.

As I fear the crop, this will be the main method for my correction. For each infraction I will receive 10 strokes of the cane. I must count each stroke out loud and thank You for each one. If I miss a count I will receive 5 additional strokes for each missed. This is not negotiable.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Blog tour

The blog tour from Joolz. Thank you friend. I am revelling in her journey. She has journeyed from thoughtful and novice sub to new slave. She has come from her first Dom to her first Master. I enjoy her journey so much. I envy her freedom in making it happen. She has now found Graeme who has recently become Master to her. Her journey and submission develop and deepen to enviable proportions. Where I fail she succeeds. Good for her I say. Go and have a look over there. Fantastic read.

Now I think I am supposed to answer some questions about this blog. Ever self indulgent, here it goes.

What is behind this Blog Tour?It's pretty simple. Answer the 4 questions about yourself and post the answers on your blog page and then invite a few other bloggers that you admire to join in on the fun and include links to their blogs on their page.

What am i working on at the moment?
A thousand things but I suspect that this is a question about bdsm / ttwd. I almost think this would be better asked of my Daddy mentor and my Sir Local D. These two sometime seem to know me better than I do.

Right this minute I feel like I am trying to find my way back to my strength. My strength to submit. I have spun out of control. I asked for space but perhaps what I need is tighter ropes. Pull the knots tighter. I am very confused at the moment and I want desperately to be taken in hand and slapped out of my doldrums.

Why do i write what i do?
To sort through this journey. To tell someone. I have no friends to confide in. No like minded friends. This is a place to talk to my inner me and now as Daddy and Sir both read this they know what is happening inside me too.

This is less acceptable bdsm / ttwd than being gay I think. It's hidden, deep in the closet. There is a hint on my body. I wear a ring. A small collar with an O ring on my finger. It has attracted many admirers but only one person who 'knows' has ever let on that they know. Unfortunately she is a work colleague and we don't talk about it because of that sensitivity.

So I write here...phone a friend or 50:50!
How does the process work?
There is no process. I write and publish usually in the same sitting. It's about what I'm feeling. What events have passed me.

3 bloggers to invite along that i admire, read and identify personally with:
 
My problem has been I don't get a lot of time too surf around blogland..a quick trip in, a quick word or two and then I'm off to my next mission.
Well I have already said Joolz but she has done this
His slut is another but she has been invited by Joolz.
I love to read blossom over at beautiful submission, she has relatively recently become slave to William, a blogging friend who was there from the beginning when I started this journey. He loves to train his sexy slave. I encourage you all to visit their pages.
 
via my life as a submissive blogspot

Friday, June 6, 2014

The submissive activity book

Maybe this is what I need? I wonder whats between the sheets..of paper.

Does a sub girl need to 'improve' her service as is suggested in the description with the aid of a book. Does not your Dominant know what is needed to improve the sub service?

Self help books for subs.

Your thoughts?

The Submissive Activity Book is your ticket to self-accountability during your journey as a submissive in the Leather and BDSM Communities. This book contains exercises and recommendations to help you improve your service with or without a power exchange relationship. If you''ve ever felt disconnected from your service because you weren''t actively serving a dominant, this book is for you. When you learn to be accountable to yourself, you''ll find serving others easier and more fulfilling. If you''re engaged in a power exchange relationship and want to improve your service, this book is the perfect tool to use in conjunction with your dominant. Together you can improve your service to meet their needs.




Thursday, June 5, 2014

Rules on the wall...

 Sir had me write a rule on the ceiling. The owner of the room requested a rule on the ceiling.

Sir helped me stand on the bench to reach the ceiling. He whipped and caned me all the time I wrote. It takes longer with this delicious distraction. The marks appearing on my body excite Sir and the taps grow to hits. The sound of the bamboo on skin is intoxicating. He broke the torture by invading His cunt with His tongue. The pleasure inducing His girls eye to roll. Then the leather of the whip flays wrapping around my body while I try to script the chalk words on the ceiling. My hand shakes as I try to make it readable and coherent.

The more my rules appear on the walls and ceiling the more they are in my constant view. Snippets of slick cunts and presented breasts for His pleasure. The non negotiables are ever present in my vision and in my minds eye. I will learn my rules this way, word for word. I read the lines as the tortures continue. I admit to loving this. The omnipresence and omnipotence of the rules as the girl is worked upon.

Rule number 4 is on the ceiling.
I will be cuffed and chained for sleeping always. I will be ready for His pleasure always. Sleeping without restraints will be considered a reward to be decided at His discretion. This is NOT negotiable.
 

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

failed sub girl

I visited Sir yesterday and he took care of me.
I call him a sadist but we have decided that he is not nasty.
Can you be a kind sadist? I think you can.

My mind was all over the place.
My thoughts were racing.
My thoughts were all over the place.
One thought here, one thought there.

I walked into the room,
I undressed.
I stood, hands behind my back, offering my breasts and body to him, handing the nipple clamps to him.
My nipples were clamped. He gathered up my bells on the clover clamps and clipped them hard to my slick cunt.

He spun me around, His fingers probing me.
As his fingers met the metal of the plug that I had inserted in my arse before I arrived.
His hot breath brushed my ear. His hand squeezed my throat.
"Good girl," His voice filled with pleasure that I had inserted His plug.

I didn't find my space yesterday. It eluded me. It cheated Sir.
He had me come hard. Strapped and retrained, toes tied by string to pulleys, chains and nipple clamps.
I was unable to relax into the pain, the discomfort.
I came at His will but soon I cried. I couldn't cope with a tenth of where He usually takes me.

He stopped.
I didnt ask but He read me.
He loosened the restraints.
He held me.
He massaged my entire body.
He took me to bed. I slept.
He took care of me.

This morning when I woke I felt ashamed, I had let Him down.
My sub self had let Him down.
"It's OK, it doesn't matter. I like to take care of my girl. Next time we are back on track." He said.

photographer unknown

Sunday, June 1, 2014

confused and sooky sub girl

It's slipping away ...
my sub-self.
I am worried,
concerned.

I think it's more an impact of life as I know it at the moment.
Time escapes me, slips through my fingers.

I find myself afraid at the moment.
Afraid of a lot of things.
The 'what if's' in my life.
There's a few 'what if's' at the moment.

I am not living the life I would like to be living but that's just how it is. Acceptance is the key. Things can't change unless I want to cause grief to a whole lot of people and certainly to those nearest to me.

Gosh heart on sleeve time.

Sir has given me space, time. I am seeing him tomorrow. A reminder as he wields the whip of where I am in his world and where I am in my world.

The guilty secret? I don't like Him knowing this side of me. No one has ever known this side of me. The unsure, wimpy, sooky la la side of me. The sorry for myself side of me.

I don't like Him to know....why?

Because He is my Sir. He is not my life partner. That role falls to someone else. That someone else does not however take any responsibility for me, so I take it for myself as I always have.

Sir wants me to ask. He wants to help. Just to help me with everyday stuff.  He can't, well I won't let Him. I keep a barrier between us. Between D/s and my other life. I am fearful I will take advantage of Him. I could so very easily. I could easily let Him into my other life. I could take advantage of a man who will do almost anything for me. I can't take that advantage because that is not His role in my life.
This is one of the most confusing head spaces I have ever experienced. I have always been sure of what is right and wrong. Now, this world I find myself moving through has many more shades of grey than just fifty.

I am aching for tomorrow, for kneeling, for bending.

photographer unknown



Sunday, May 18, 2014

not about D/s, ttwd, DD or anything spicy...

....Just about me.

I think I'm needing time.
Time has always been my most precious asset, my most valued 'thing'.
I am a loner.
I love my family, my friends, all those people special in my life, but occasionally I need to pull back, to scale down, to retreat.
It usually happens to me (this feeling) when I have a lot on the go.
At these times I need to learn to say 'no'.

I seem to have a thousand domestic projects on the go.
Decluttering, scaling back but building at the same time.

I have finally embraced the knowledge that my future is my responsibility only.
I have never shirked responsibility and in fact, I have been responsible for the well-being of my family for a very long time now, but this is a knowledge that I am responsible for my family's future.
I have accepted that I am alone in my partnership with hubby and have tried to find my own happiness inside our unconventional relationship.
I am not wearing my heart on my sleeve, this is just how it is.
It is what it is.
My acceptance and indeed embracing of this fact has been a long time coming.

So...

Working towards my future I have manage to increase my working hours after months of trying. I am looking to my financial security and I am looking to my creative security and contentedness.

Now I need some time, just to breathe. To pay attention to all this and for the waters to stop whirling around me.

I don't know where D/s fits into all this.



photographer unknown via blogland

Saturday, May 10, 2014

inside little

her need...
wet her lips,
savour her taste
let her sparkle,
her sex explores,
explodes,
escapes,
fires
... ice.

artwork - little

His girl, sick girl

An unusual post...

I am sick, I feel like rubbish.
Can't get off the couch.
It's at these times when the reality of not being free to 'belong' entirely to Sir is highlighted.

He can advise from the other side of town. He can 'worry' about His girl, but He can't be here.

I tell Him I am glad He can't be here as I look outrageously atrocious and don't want to spoil the illusion!

He says, 'Stop it! Go to bed now please.'

I beg for a little more time, a favourite television program is on.

'Alright, but then straight off to bed.'

'Yes Sir, Thank you. x'

artist Gregory Hergert via Sarah's view Blog