Saturday, November 23, 2013

ebb & flow summissive

Dear Daddy
 
I am sorry I haven't written in a while. I haven't been online so much. I am sleeping better which means not so much 4 -5 am waking and so not so much computer.
I am relaxed and more content than I have been in a long time.
I am stronger than I have been in a long time and, Daddy, I am happier too. I am more me than I have been in an age.

I have decided not to shoulder so much in our life. I have decided to live my own life. Visit who I want when I want. I spent my last day off riding on the back of Sir's motorcycle. He had taken me to buy a helmet and gloves and we rode through the country side all day. When he reached back to pat and rub my thigh I was assured I was safe and in his care. That felt very nice. It was very peaceful on the back of his bike. I was so relaxed that when he said it was 3 in the afternoon and he had to take me back, I was shocked and disappointed that the wonderful sun-filled day had gone so fast.

Life in the house is calmer than it has been in a while. I am being respected as an individual which has been missing for longer than I care to admit. It is early days, but the positivity I am feeling has lightened my load and my heart.

Daddy, even with all this beauty and contentment leaking back into the everydayness of my life, I am noticing a slight uneasiness. I am feeling less submissive. Actually that is not so. I think the feeling is the loss of the burning desire, the need. Though there is an acceptance that it is there, but there is not an explicit expression of it lately. It may be nothing. I have felt this ebb and flow of the sub inside me a couple of times. It is time like this though that I begin to doubt myself and just want to feel the safety of Sir's hand.
 
Liz, Photographer unknown
 

1 comment:

  1. Love the retro pic! Keep up the good work.

    XOXOX,
    Missy

    ReplyDelete

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