Thursday, July 11, 2013

What is weighing on your heart… right… now?

Thought I'd give it a go. From Luna K's submissive journal prompts.  I seem to have chosen a heavy place to start!

Weighing on my heart is my journey away from Non-Dom.
It's hurting my heart.
It weighs heavily as I move further into submission with Local D.
Non-Dom spins away from me. Circling but it seems not wanting to embrace me no matter how much I have begged him.
My heart feels the heaviness of years of restriction, of mistrust, of 'coping' and of managing the demons in him.
I 'm questioning whether the love is fading, dying, fighting for breath, gasping to breathe.


photographer unknown

5 comments:

  1. Hey girl. Definitely a rough realization. I know a lot of our vanilla counterparts will never understand the D/s DNA we were born with. And I know that is only complicated when we love a vanilla. Some of them will humor us (trying it) but they're just not born with the same wiring and when they realize they can't meet this need of ours, they can pull away. It's hard....finding a balance and I've often wondered if it's truly possible. Navigating my own vanilla romance now and my Dom is also married to a non-spanko. Outwardly they "support it" and know it is part of us they can never really fulfill, but I know that only stirs self-doubt in them.....even if it is unrealistic to expect to be able to meet every need of your significant other on every level of their being. I don't have the answers honey and I wish I did......but I'm here, I "get it" and regardless of what obstacles you face.....you've got an amazing community of support here and we will always listen.

    Lots of love.

    Irish Imp

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    1. thank you Irish...i have a lot to think about with what you have written today
      xxx

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  2. Well everything that Irish Imp says.

    Plus, well as we have previously discussed, theory and practise are two different things. It seems easy to keep heart and head apart. They (the non-dom partners) say that they can separate their feelings (what you do together and what is done with the Dom). Likewise so do we. But maybe the truth will always out, maybe once we start on this journey of ours, the existing relationship is doomed, even if in the end we don't end up with our current Dom!

    Good luck xx

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    1. Your insight is less than astounding 'anonymous'. Not quite sure why this life of MINE has provoked such an emotional response from you. On your way anonymous.

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