Saturday, May 11, 2013

30 days of submission - day 15 the submission evolution


 

Has your submission evolved over time? If so, how has it evolved for you and if not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?

I have always been aware of something in me, the love of restraint, the excitement of being forced, the shame of the rape fantasy (albeit consensual..another dichotomy). Over the last 3 years or more a name to my desires has been recognised by me - submission. The future..I don't know, the fantasy is that I will live this 24/7. I don't think it will ever happen because non-Dom is, well just that, non-Dominant. To be give permission meet a Dom man who I am able to take into my life and really explore my submission has been wonderful. I have come to understand my submission a bit more and to embrace it. My doubts remain. Am I really submissive? Am I in a phase that will pass like so much more in my life? Am I inconstant? I think this is who I am, but can never be sure until the day I am allowed to explore this without restriction and in reality.

Photographer unknown

2 comments:

  1. I doubt it is a phase. I think it is something you want and crave. And I think the more you get, the more you will want and crave. You are fortunate you are getting your needs met.

    FD

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  2. Just glad you are back. I was thinking of you all the time. To live 24/7 it is such a very hard commitment. I find doing it when you both are up for it, you get more out of the session. The offer I gave to sfp is open to you as well. I will start saving LOL.
    Hugs Ashly xx

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