He has been 'soft' with me...his words not mine..but yes I agree. We laugh a lot together and I admit I really don't know what darkness might fill his mind.
I was adamant that this softness as he described it was not some sort of failure or mistake. I am aware that he has been gentle with me. He has been this way because I am new to this game. I am aware he didn't want to overwhelm me or scare me away. I admit though I am keen for him to step it up a notch or two. How he does that without losing what we have I am not sure.
So yesterday we were chatting online and he asked the question,
"How much do you trust me, honestly?"
I took this to mean how much do I trust him with my well being, when he is in charge of me physically.
"Implicitly" and I have to say I do. I have every confidence that he will hit me, beat me, whip me and I will come out the other side relatively unscathed. Bruises and marks notwithstanding. They will fade.
Then he began to talk about the whip. Now this would be new. A whip. Crack that whip!
"How would you feel about the whip?"
I jumped at the opportunity is the reaction I had. I have never really given it much thought before because he had earlier said it was too much for this lil chick. Well the delicious little whore was getting excited for a lot of unusual reasons. I have learned I am not a pain slut, so why would I be excited about the whip? I have learned I am a slut for control. I need to be overwhelmed with pure unadulterated strength. Unfortunately Local D likes the odd bit of pain, to inflict it. Here is where he has been easy on me. He knows I don't appear to get off on pain in and of itself. As part of a very hard flogging. As part of a slap and spank..oh yes please. But it is not the reason I get wet. It is being held down and controlled that is the clincher for me.
So this leads to my questions around the whip. I am led to believe that the whip is harsh and painful. In fact he says he wants to move to the whip because I can take all he can give with the flogger (apparently - mental note to self...scream more!). I got all excited at the thought of the whip. I keep saying I want to try everything. The girl doesn't know what she doesn't know. I have begged him, implored him to pull everything out of his bag of tricks. His reply...
"Be careful what you wish for."
So now I'm excited and nervous...more nervous...but very very excited.
|I'm excited! Unknown Photographer. Source: the Intranet|