I have been sick this past week and a half and I have missed our contact. I am still not feeling particularly sexy and I am now looking after other members of my family with whom I have so generously shared my disease. BUT...I am waiting, sooky, for my Local D to come online.
While I wait and outside this time, I have felt the tension building. He is going away soon and circumstance means I probably won't meet with him before he goes away. He will be out of contact save for a few text messages. I am aware that I am going to hate this! There is a balance to me when I am able to see him. To receive my fix, my dose.
Most would advise that he leave me with something to be going on with (kneeling, kowtow or any manner of exercises designed to help me maintain my place). Grrrrrrr!
We had avoided these things. They have been tried but now avoided (not my decision). My very real problem as I see it, is the loss of his control. It's his touch I need. His firm hand. I have got out of the habit of following instructions not delivered in person. Our relationships mean that we have been very careful not to cross a line which may play into the lives of the significant others. There are barriers between us borne of this awareness. It is not a perfect D/s relationship, but it has worked for us, for the moment. Losing access to him for a relatively long period of time feels almost tragic. We have made an effort to see each other fortnightly though with illness and life this sometimes doesn't work. I was due to go to him this week though current circumstance says that this won't be happening. It is likely then that I will not see him now until December but with holiday festivities it's more likely to be the end of January.
|unknown photographer. Source: Internet|