Sunday, July 29, 2012

calm, swapping fretting for following

I feel it falling over me. The calm filling me.

Its takes some days, but in those days following time spent with Local D there is something inside me that changes. It is never immediate, never in an instant. Like all good things it grows and then overtakes me.

It was difficult to pinpoint at first, but now I recognise it as the calm. I am settling. The fear is falling away and after just a few meetings I can say I am not afraid of wanting what I want. I don't have to be careful with what I wish for anymore. I can kneel and give him what he needs from me. I can give to him without fear (and I have had a lot of fear and anxiety about the unknown). I am beginning to give away fretting, swapping it for following as a wise man once said I must. I am not giving it away consciously, it is just falling away. It is subsiding, leaving the shore like an ocean tide retreating in the moons pull.

I am craving his grip more and more. I ache to be on my knees at his feet. Being who I am. Being who I need to be. My breasts, my body, my cunt, my face, my mouth, my eyes, my tongue presented for him. The calm in this place stays with me outside the room. Finally finding me. Finally finding my place. I am happiest on my knees, my wrists tied, my ankles restrained. Unmoving, waiting for his bidding.

photographer unknown


10 comments:

  1. Not for the first time, I know exacctly what you mean! Long may this feeling last. :)

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    1. Parallel journey from different parts of the world Joolz

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  2. Sounds like you are in a wonderful place and are getting your needs wet. Good luck on your continuing journey in the lifestyle. You are finding out you need this lifestyle.

    FD

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    1. thanks FD. There is certainly a sense of comfort in knowing I am not searching as desperately at the moment.

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  3. Ultimate satisfaction in submission is always about will. Not just a desire, not just a want, but a true and deep will to submit. Sounds like you are arriving.

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    1. Thank you Bruce. I think arriving may be relative. The ebb and flow of these feelings is constant. I don't know if there is an end point to my adventure.

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  4. just out of curiosity how does your partner feel about this?

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    1. Welcome jfv and thank you for your question. To sate your curiosity, my partner has given his consent for all this. There are limits he has set to which I adhere. This is a journey for both of us and life is tinged with shades of grey (no pun intended) so this unconventional path we are on has been respectfully negoitiated over a long period of time.

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  5. Excellent! good luck to both of you. I enjoy reading your blog very much. Thank you for your response.

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  6. This is lovely and very calming to read. I don't know how I missed it :)

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