Sunday, June 10, 2012

30 days of submission - submission seven

I have paid little attention to the continuing saga of 30 days of submission, i get a little bored with it..so here is number 7

Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?

Hmmm. I hate punishment. I always try so hard and it feels unjust to be punished. Discipline is fun. Punishment just makes me try to avoid punishment. In honesty, I respond better to praise..try harder. I need to please. I have not experienced much I would label as punishment.

Once I remember being so incensed by a punishment it almost split me away from the Dom man. It was early in our discovery of each other and it was probably far too early for such a severe punishment. He did not know me. He misjudged me. I did not have the level of trust to accept his decision without question. I was not truly submitting. In fact I have not ever truly submitted if I am honest. Not completely. It comes back to trust doesn't it. I want and need to submit, but I have never so deeply trusted someone that I can submit without reservation...naughty me...does that deserve punishment? ;)

There in is my journey though..to learn to submit..to trust so deeply that I can submit.

All hail the imperfect novice submitter!





1 comment:

  1. Sent to me privately and I have permission to post it here....

    "what you need to learn is that HE is in charge and if HE is not pleased with your obedience you will be punished. It is not about what you feel or want anymore young lady, it is about what HE decides you've earned and need."

    ReplyDelete

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