Wednesday, March 21, 2012

wrong Sir

Tonight I feel it's likely not to happen.
So terribly long,  chatting, getting to know each other,
playing online and on the phone,
but it's not right.

I haven't used my best judgement.
It feels wrong. 
I am so eager, too eager.
So long waiting,
that makes me not using my best judgement.
I don't trust myself just now.

So why not dive in?
Because I want it to be right. Not perfection, just right.

I asked my hub again tonight.  I asked him for his Domination, I asked him for his control.

He declined.

So I continue to look for a Dom man. I need a local man. The local man now, it feels wrong so I have to step away.

arrrrrrgh!

unknown artist

4 comments:

  1. As hard as it may be, and as much as you want this, you are ding the right thing. Being with someone or submitting just for the sake of being able to do it will not make you happy. As you said, it needs to feel "right".

    I have in the past done the same thing. I have talked to and met with subs, only to not go further. Either the connection wasn't there, I didn't think we were compatible in our wants and needs, or it was just that gut feeling that something was off base. Whatever the case, you are better off moving on and continuing to search than to settle for less than what you want and need in a person. As a Dom, I would much rather a sub tell me they don't think it will work between us than to move on under less than ideal conditions. It ultimately makes it better for us both.

    Hold your head high, because you did the right thing and it takes great strength to do that. I'm happy to see you recognized that is wasn't right, and took the needed steps. Good for you!

    DV

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    1. Thank you DV.
      I put not an inconsiderable amount of store in your opinion. I know you are right, in my gut, but boy am I finding this hard. There is a lot at stake..a lot riding on this. Protection of the people around me, so as not to affect them with my selfish needs. What I am looking for is unconventional and if it was just me, my life alone, there would not be a problem. I could and would do what I want and need. The Mix of family and partner makes it neccessary for me to find the 'right' man, especially locally. There are plenty of those 'right' men online in my view. I have talked with them and admire them for their integrity, there warmth, their understanding and their strength...but the commute is outrageous! ;)

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  2. i agree with DV, you totally have done the right thing, in my past i didnt and it only brought me much unhappiness, but moreso because i let it go on as i really was fooling myself....and as DV says be good to yourself.

    blossom x

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    Replies
    1. thank you blossom, sometimes it is easier said than done isn't it? I can see the path, I have the opportunity, I am wearing my red cape(the one with the red hood) and now all I need to do is follow that path..and I can see the wolf prowling proud in the near darkness. He is enticing. Maybe the basket of goodies will sate his appetite. ;)

      Delete

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