Saturday, December 10, 2011

A letter he will never read

Do you think we are really meant to be together forever my love? I have loved you and still do, but it hurts. Our relationship is a one way street. I am pushed and pulled always at your whim never knowing where I am. You are selfish but your ego is so quiet that I barely noticed.

My love, you have never stood in my way, except in the things that make me soar. In the things that are essentially me. 
We have lived with little ambition other than to get though the immediate future.
As I get older my love I am seeing these things for which I long.
The ache is too much sometimes.
I ache for the freedom to be who I am. To be the girl you once knew.
There is no room for me in our life anymore.
I want to stop hiding, the shadows are a dark place my love. 
Crouching, hiding in the shadows. My light dimming. Too weak now to hold us, support us, keep us safe.
Waiting for you to see me. To fill me. To hold me, protect me, make my world sure and secure.

A child, bring me home. 

Happiness ebbing away. The tide receding from my touch.
Tiredness overtaking me, stealing my energy, plundering my capacity to be me, to be a mother, partner, friend.

photo: helmut newton


1 comment:

  1. *hugs*

    I know the place you're writing about all too well. I hope you're able to find who and what you're looking for.

    ReplyDelete

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