Friday, December 23, 2011

close but no cigar

I have made a decision not to continue with the local man.
It never sat right and he acted in a way that was not good for me. I'm sure he is a fine and good man but we are not a match.

I have to be careful. I am yearning too much, I am too needy, too eager. I would have met this man if he had asked but I could feel his weakness, his insecurity. I want someone to lead me through my anxieties about this thing I want. I need and want to be pushed with surety. I began to wonder about his confidence with me. He said all the right things but did not stand his ground. He did not encourage confidence in me. We are not a match.

I am beginning to measure encounters and men by D, a correspondent and Mentor.
I trust him in this world of TTWD, in a world where trust has come slowly for me.
He is my measuring stick, his way, his integrity, his strength of character, his sexiness..lol and now his voice!!..no one else has got a hope!
I have a crush on my Mentor.
We have no agreement of ownership, no agreement of exclusivity. That would be impractical from different continents. We have no agreement other than friendship.

This girl belongs to Daddy...whether or not he knows it..:)
[Photo: voc.com.cn] photographer unknown: Russian diver Natalia Avseenko with two beluga whales in sub-zero water in the Arctic

2 comments:

  1. I know it would be hard for me not to develop feelings for a mentor... Hope you two can talk it through if need be. Take care :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. thank you K, I am not concerned about my crush, with intimacy and trust comes attachment. I know where it starts and ends..don't I D? x

    ReplyDelete

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