Thursday, September 29, 2011

she lets her peek through

Disclaimer: this is not upbeat, its a tiny bit self indulgent, so move on if you need to, see you on the upside x

I shouldn't be writing. I suspect this will be a downbeat paragraph or two.

Exhausted, out of time, out of energy.

Life has been overwhelming lately and the smiles I've felt getting to know Daddy have been over shadowed by the other me. The the public me. He has been unwrapping the other me, the me I reveal here, which has been nice. That she has been dancing around the mulberry bush hoping for her hub to catch up, to take part, and to take control.

Things had been looking good until about three or four months ago when the delicious little whore was knocked flat. Thrown off her hands and knees. She clawed her way back but her sweet hub has not. The crazy months have settled but there is still residual difficulties that I just wish I didn't have to deal with.

So I am a bit despondent today. Waiting for him to be strong again and I admit I am struggling a bit to stay afloat. Trying to balance all the things in our life that need balancing. I am forgetting a lot, failing. Calls from school..where's your child..eek! forgot to cancel sorry!, parents needing help, hub needing constant support. Work demanding results from its part timer in a full time role...hmmm running seems a good option right now.

In a perfect world I would have some strong arms to deliver myself into....In a perfect world.

But that's just today..'I can't think about that now. I'll think about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day' (cue music....:) )

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