Wednesday, March 9, 2011

disillusion

Losing the faith,

Helmut Newton
drifting away,
cut loose,
disengaging,
disengaged,
floating,
drowning,
deeper water,
up and over the waves,
drifting,
melancholy,
separating,
fingers parting,
sliding free,
pushing futile,
wishing,
disappointment,
stale,
dying on the fringe of summer.

As I draw to the end of my list...I want to curl into myself and sleep. Forget the day's disappointment and hope for a better tomorrow. On a roller coaster, Daddy, Husband, two men at my centre and yet neither help me be who I really am.

Something always missing, longing when I am alone.

Tonight I feel my sexuality fading, choking, dulled under male hands.

Sleep...tomorrow it will not seem so bleak..LOL...things always look better in the morning.

2 comments:

  1. Sending heartfelt hugs your way....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Ht..there's nothing so pathetic as a self pitying sub! i must snap my self out of this...
    Lx

    ReplyDelete

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