Monday, December 6, 2010

finding me in him

How strange I think to myself.
I think i am falling in love again.
I long to see him at the end of the day,
I grieve to see him walk out the door.

The forgiveness is real,
the resentment and hurt is abating.
I love his touch,
I am patient with him,
The irritation with his breath is gone.
The wound is healing,
I am not afraid any longer.
I feel safe in his hands,
I have given myself back to him.

I think I am falling in love with my husband again.
The realisation of this makes me cry.
Like a switch is flicked and I see us again.
The confusion of the last 18 months is receding and clarity is returning.
It feels like I have arrived..like I made it back to him.
My journey, almost over. 
I drifted away from him, pushed myself away, afraid of the hurt, afraid to live the pain again.
He waited. 
I never thought I'd come back, but here I am, loving him again.

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