Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I was enjoying a dinner out with my husband. Nice wine, great food, quiet restaurant. One of those rare nights of escape when the family is absent from our responsibility, so we take advantage and run to restaurants, shows, sex right through the house. I love those times!

Anyway, we were sitting enjoying our evening when something he said made my heart flutter, my excitement grown and my breath leave my body.

Quietly, barely audible (it was a quiet restaurant), he said "this Domination and submission thing..."

After having recovered from choking on my wine, he went on, "Well, I've been thinking. I've been surrounded by strong women all my life and equality in the sex's and in my relationships. It seems to go against that."

I almost had an orgasm there and then...he was thinking about it! He was considering the implications for our relationship..oh JOY!!

If you have read anything here, you will know I am new to recognising what I now think has been there all my life and I understood completely his question, his concern, as I'm sure you do. So there, in the restaurant, we had a discussion about feminism, D/s and my interpretation of the dynamic between them. I explained that for me there is no contradiction. Recognising and then embracing my submissive self, is an act of feminism. I think I have said not too long ago, that choosing to submit is, for me, an expression of feminism. I am not being forced to this decision, I retain the power to choose to submit. I remain a strong, intelligent woman. D/s will not deny me opportunities to grow or live my life. It will not deny me educational or career opportunities, because I know he would not deny me these things. For me submission is feminist rhetoric made real..I am in possession of the power to choose, and I choose to submit....Now if i could just find a Dominant man! ;-)


  1. My husband and i had to have many, many conversations about this - equality, being strong, being submissive, being partners, what it all means. I had to do a lot of work to figure out what i really believed about it, then show him how they are not contradictory. The work has been worth it.

  2. thank you GG, i do so enjoy your posts and perspective. While i am settled with myself and my beliefs in this arena, I endure listening to many conversations with women who are not at this point. I know them, I was one. They speak about sexual dynamics and what women want. I sit and listen and think, 'this is not what i want anymore'... ahh the fickle lot of woman. ;-)


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