Saturday, June 19, 2010

My first time

Asked the question...your first time, what was it?
This got me thinking. An experience that I don't think of often but when I do, I remember it with fondness and warmth. I thought about it again when I happened across the question in a blog and read the responses from some of it's followers. Responses ranged from an upsetting non-consensual experience which effected the rest of the victim's life to the beginning of the rest of a life of commitment and love.
I began to think of mine, my first time, my first sexual experience actually. I had not previously done more with and boy, or a man other than a hot kiss where tongues met in mutual and excited exploration. I was 19 and an art student, while he was a student also he was 27 yrs and a glassblower, an artist. He was lean and had an artists pony tail his hair pulled back in a neat tie. His finger nail on his little finger right hand was long. He was not the sort of man I usually found attractive physically, preferring taller well built young men with short hair, straight noses and dreamy eyes and smiles, everything young teenage women wanted in a boyfriend. R had a kind way about him though and I guess, being that much older than me, I was attracted by that maturity and suredness he possessed generally and sexually. We met through one of the many art school parties. There had been many parties, alcohol and drug fuelled but fairly mild in temperament.
We met at the campus library one spring evening just as it was closing and we found our way to the carpeted steps just inside the entrance. We sat on the stairs and within a short time I found myself in fond embrace with him. His hands tracing my body, his tongue and lips exploring my neck, ear and my mouth. His hand slid up my thigh under my skirt, his palm pressing on my mound, his finger slipping to the growing moisture and heat beginning to soak my panties. It was growing late, my breath was fast my body began to tingle and I ached for what I had not experienced in my 19 yrs. I broke away from him, nervous, mumbling that I had not been with a man before. I think he was a little shocked and pulled back. I wish he hadn't. He asked me to come to a party he was having at his house the coming weekend. I left longing for the weekend ahead.
The party was like any other, loud, happy, with alcohol and many people. In fact I don't remember too much about it, but I remember clearly after the party. R stood behind me in the half light, passed out bodies and quiet around us. His hands traced my thighs and came up to rest on my ample breasts, my nipples stiffened with the excitement of his touch through my blouse. His mouth played on my neck, my right ear dropping to my shoulder in elation as he sucked and bit my neck. He propelled me forward, through his bedroom door, pushing me with some amount of force that thrilled me to the bone, though I was not aware of it at the time, but I was about to have my first experience of domination. This is how I was to lose my virginity, to relinquish it to an older man, experienced and bending me to his will.
He lifted my arms and pulled my blouse over my head exposing my young untouched body and my breasts cupped gently in a white lace bra. Still behind me, his fingers slid down over my body coming to rest on my thighs, sliding his hand to the front and in between my legs he took hold of my mound and slipped his finger over the top of my summer skirt and panties to rub and circle my clit. I was hot, wet and a sense of embarrassment at my wetness overwhelmed me. I tried to pull away. His other hand slid up under my skirt and his fingers pulled aside my panties and slipped between my growing moist lips and rested on them, threatening to slide inside my pussy. I gasped with surprise and a growing excitement. He held me tight and in such a way that to try and break myself free from his hold would send his fingers deeper into me, the slightest movement and he would push his finger a tiny bit further into my wetness. I let go a slight whimper and I wasn't sure if it was trepidation or excitement. I didn't know what to expect. I was naive sexually, but being held, unable to move without the threat of violation began to excite me, the heat grew between my thighs and I ached for him to penetrate me further.
"Shhhhh" he muttered into my left ear, his lips resting on my ear, his hot breath sending a thrill through my body. His fingers slid between my thighs, he was coating my thighs with my own heat and wetness. half pushing half pulling me to the mattress on the floor...what can i say, we were all students, no-one had a bed under their mattress...
He pushed his fingers deep inside me, my virginity being violated, but god it felt good. My head swimming with the oxygen I was taking in in big gulps. Not able to think, to dream, to resist. This has been a condition of sexual excitement for me ever since. In the heat of a mans touch, I cannot think, safe words are forgotten, a condition which has been enjoyed by men, knowing that I will forget in the moment whatever word has been decided upon.
His hand slid out of me and grabbed my arse, so hard that I squealed and gasped with surprise and a bit of pain. My body shook with excitement and still behind me, he sunk his teeth into my neck, as he bent me and pushed into my tight virgin cunt. He pushed my face further into the bed and pulled my hips to him, forcing his throbbing shaft into me. I remember the fear tinged elation as it began to dawn on me that I was being fucked in a way that was so thrilling to me. It felt completely right and good though this is not what I had been told sex was! Missionary 101 was what I had expected and this was way beyond anything I had imagined. It was hot, hard, and all I knew was that I wanted this to be forever. I wanted to worship this cock, his cock and this act for the rest of my life. I should have known then that this was what I was going to be searching for in all my experiences with men..but what does a 19 year old girl know? nothing!
He pulled my arms back to him with each thrust, tits bouncing and the pain searing but fleeting, I was not a virgin anymore, fucked magnificently a smile stretching across my mouth ..that's all I think I thought as I whimpered and moaned. Each thrust, propelling me forward while he exerted a counter pressure pulling me back by my wrists.
I could feel my heart beating, my own juices flowing down my thighs, tingling and building I thought I would explode, my head, my cunt in unison wanting to do something but I did not know what. What a wonderful and ecstatic surprise as the waves came through me, spreading out from my fucked cunt, rippling through my body, every muscle clenching and releasing in warmth and ecstasy. A moan turned into a scream and came from my lungs so deep it didn't sound like anything I had ever heard come from me. I was aware of his cry at the same time. So primal it scared me...he collapse into me and on top of me pushing me down onto the bed where we lay, feeling the wave of orgasm move through us, tears falling down my cheeks. I was so overwhelmed I couldn't move. He put his arms around me, rivulets of sweat mingling and pulled me close, stroking my hair. He kissed me on the head and on the lips.
"Shhh..its OK" ...and it was. It was more than OK, it was fantastic! and I have been grateful to him all my life for my first time.

2 comments:

  1. How nice that your first experience was fantastic and that you were grateful to him for making your first time so good. You were fortunate to have such a positive first experience.

    And thanks for stopping by my blog. I enjoyed this post and will return to yours.

    FD

    ReplyDelete

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