Saturday, June 26, 2010

Blackmailed into submission...a story

He talks with me, he toys with me, he plays with me...he and I talked and played the following. Some thing we wrote together, something he kept and i didn't. I don't keep anything as its part of the secret. He says he will come to me..but when, or if, is anybodies guess. I live on tenter hooks and then he sent me this, taunting me with discovery, strangely hot, to be blackmailed into submission. ... I trust him not to, vulnerable and full of trust.


He: I walk in and meet you at the pub, and drop a few transcripts, screen shots of you and your number and tell you to do as you're told! I tell you that we're going to the hotel room I've checked into nearby. You don't have to come with me, but you're taking your chances if you don't. It's time that I made some decisions for you. And we both know why you would come to meet me, and what you really want and need.

she: 'My God!' I trembled, thoughts racing, scared, panic rising in my throat.

He: I notice you looking through the pictures, trying to see if they're obviously you........and I laugh at you.

He leaned close to my ear, grinning, his hot breath winding over my cheek now flushed with both sheer panic and a sense of excitement that caught me off guard. His lips so close I could feel their light brush on my left ear.

'You've been a lascivious little cock tease for too long little one. Now I'll help you make up your mind'.

He: I finish my drink and leave everything in front of you, walking out down the street. Do I have copies? Is this a sham? What do you do?

she: Follow! With the evidence!

He: I stride faster, hearing you breathing hard and scampering to catch up. It's a beautiful day, isn't it little one?

she: Too dizzy and confused, panic stricken to get much of any coherence out of me in response to your question, your simple question. I can't really believe you are going to do this. Thinking maybe you are joking. Wondering why I continued when I had a chance to get out. Now I'm trapped.

I followed up the street, barely able to catch his 6ft plus striding ahead. He moved with a sureness that showed a confidence of knowing me, of knowing what I would do, a confidence in what choice I would make. How could he know me so well, I had been careful not to reveal too much. I had been sure I hadn't let him know how much I longed and ached for him. How much I was coming to need him in my life, albeit at a distance, when it suited him, when his life allowed it, when he allowed it. I came last in that list, but when we talked I felt like he had been waiting for me as I had for him, like he wanted me in ways I had only ever dreamed about, but longed for. Now running down the hot afternoon pavement, the heat of the day burning in my lungs, I wondered who he was, repelled and drawn, aching for his touch and reeling with terror at the thought of him destroying everything, my long term relationship with my first love, my life. My body was responding with the thrill of it. My heart racing, my breath shallow, the heat between my thighs growing and my pussy dampened my panties.

He: I put my hands out to take the paperwork and pictures back from you.

she: I give them to you.

He: "Good girl. You weren't sure if I had copies though, were you? That's a hot outfit you wore for me today, Nice tight blouse and jeans are a favourite."

I look down on you, standing next to me like a child in trouble, not sure of what's going to happen to her next.

"You always tease me about your sexy underwear little one......what is it today?" he said in a calm matter of fact way, a grin barely tracing his lips.

"Black lace Brazilian knickers, and my favourite black lace bra." I almost stumble over my words.

My voice trembling but determined to find my way through this. The traffic roared past in the summer heat. Harsh sun poured down on my head. I felt a drop of perspiration trace my spine, flowing in a rivulet down the centre of my back, between my shoulder blades. My mind drifted in that instant to your fingers catching that droplet..tracing the wet trail down my back to reach the scar on the base of my spine, the small of my back. Your hand spreading over my buttocks, cupping it holding my arse like you had described so many times...violently brought back to the street noise by your voice..a hint of contempt and all condescension.

"That was sweet, wearing your favourite for me. Are you going to show me, my little slut? You are MY little slut today, aren't you?"

"Yes" Lowering my eyes slightly, I felt my body bending to him, submitting. "Now? Here in the street?!", it dawned on me what he was asking, demanding, expecting.

No! he wouldn't do this to me, our first meeting! he wouldn't...I felt the growing in heat between my thighs, the trepidation and terror was a drug to my excitement.

He smiled as he enjoyed my growing discomfort, "That's exactly what I meant.......take your blouse completely off and we'll take a stroll."

His tone was full of considered nonchalance, but his expectation was clear and steadfast. He waited for me to comply..but i sensed he wouldn't wait too long.

"Can't I just unbutton it for you..." pleading with him, underestimating his resolve.

"Nooooo you can''s all the fashion, you'll be fine. I can always go and leave you to it if you prefer. "

"No!" expelled from my lips before thinking. In fact i wasn't able to think.

My eyes flashed to the papers in his hand, wondering if i could take the chance. I had met Him on the Internet, all those stories.. the ones you hear about naive people meeting on the Internet, cons, people coming to harm, real harm. I thought I was smarter than that..I thought I could control any situation. I craved and needed the control to be taken from me, but I saw myself as giving it freely. Here, now, this was different, I had become one of those naive women from the Internet. My sense of humiliation and embarrassment over my own stupidity was acute. How the hell did a smart woman like me let this get so far out of my control?

Unbuttoning one at a time. Slowly. Moist eyes. Not sure you’re the man I thought you were. Imploring you.

"It's good of you to undress in the street slowly for everyone, but I'd hurry up if I were you"

"Can't we just go to your hotel room." Pleading with him.

"Still not used to being polite, are you?"

"Can't we just go to your hotel room please?"

My distress was growing, not knowing which way to jump realising I was trapped, something I saw he was enjoying. He was in control of his caged little plaything, he held all the cards. I began to see how that he always had held them, steering me and guiding me to this moment. I was aroused, no doubt, but confused by the fear. My nipples were growing hard under their black laced encasement. Growing wetter, my breath shallow and a sense of excitement over my body. my skin tingled with the expectation filling my little pink beast.

"Take it off!" his voice a slight growl, shocked me back from my disjointed thoughts.

He towered over me, closer now than he had ever been, he leaned over me burying his face in the top of my head. He breathed deeply through my blond loose hair taking a few strands between his teeth pulling back with a sharp tug that nearly pulled it out. He smelled my hair again and growled a low 'mmmm...'

she: With some trepidation...not and inconsiderable amount, I slip the blouse down. Flushing, red cheeked with embarrassment.

"Good girl. Give it to me."

I handed it to him. Arm outstretched The sound of those words, good girl, making me tremble, making my nipple firm and excited, but still looking around me, hoping for help from somewhere...anywhere!

"I don't know why you're embarrassed, they're an awfully good pair of tits. You were right when you teased me telling me about them. Do you think we should ask someone for a second opinion?"

"No. Please!" Covering my breasts with my arms. "Please can we go to your room?"

"OK, we're unanimous here anyway I guess.......but put your arms beside you."

"Yes.." Flushing red with embarrassment. Unable to believe how I got myself here.

He: I walk off down the street, and you realise in your confusion you're standing there in the street like a toy soldier with your lacy black bra clad tits. You start to follow me quickly, then realise with greater embarrassment that we were two doors from the hotel I've checked into, following me to my room.

she: A sense of relief. A deep release of breath.

He: I open the door marginally and you fly past me like a cat about to be fed.

she: I’m a little cross that you've put me through that. Getting my energy back now that I am hidden from view. But also aware that I am very wet. Breathing more evenly.

He: You see me rifling through my bag while you gather your thoughts. "Take your jeans and shoes off, make us both a drink too."

she: A little confused...I’ve never seen this side of you as we chatted online or talked on the phone. A side with some disregard for my discomfort. I think for a moment about walking out, picking up my shirt and running, always best when I’m running.

He: I watch you run out, standing at the doorway laughing.

she: I remember the papers...stop ...turn. I look at you, would you really do it? I think to myself.

He: The smile on my face telling you.

she: I walk back to you...brushing past you into you room, and begin undoing my belt, unbuttoning my jeans and dropping them to my ankles. My thoughts running to a song I once heard that told about a woman looking her best with her pants around her ankles. I kick off my shoes, the lack of heel making me even smaller against your height.

"Now.......walk outside to the next room and come back.....that's part of your first penance for pulling that stunt. I don't care if you want to run or not, just do it!"

she: My eyes flash to yours...then down to the floor. I just have to get through this, then I can do the school run. Get back to my life, perhaps put this behind me.

He: 'You stupid little slut, don't try that again or fuck off for good and really take your chances."

she: The words cut through me like a knife. I do what you ask quickly and quietly.

He: You take step or two out the door and hear it shut, the door locking behind you

she: "shit! bastard...bastard!"

He: I laugh as I hear you outside cursing.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

My first time

Asked the question...your first time, what was it?
This got me thinking. An experience that I don't think of often but when I do, I remember it with fondness and warmth. I thought about it again when I happened across the question in a blog and read the responses from some of it's followers. Responses ranged from an upsetting non-consensual experience which effected the rest of the victim's life to the beginning of the rest of a life of commitment and love.
I began to think of mine, my first time, my first sexual experience actually. I had not previously done more with and boy, or a man other than a hot kiss where tongues met in mutual and excited exploration. I was 19 and an art student, while he was a student also he was 27 yrs and a glassblower, an artist. He was lean and had an artists pony tail his hair pulled back in a neat tie. His finger nail on his little finger right hand was long. He was not the sort of man I usually found attractive physically, preferring taller well built young men with short hair, straight noses and dreamy eyes and smiles, everything young teenage women wanted in a boyfriend. R had a kind way about him though and I guess, being that much older than me, I was attracted by that maturity and suredness he possessed generally and sexually. We met through one of the many art school parties. There had been many parties, alcohol and drug fuelled but fairly mild in temperament.
We met at the campus library one spring evening just as it was closing and we found our way to the carpeted steps just inside the entrance. We sat on the stairs and within a short time I found myself in fond embrace with him. His hands tracing my body, his tongue and lips exploring my neck, ear and my mouth. His hand slid up my thigh under my skirt, his palm pressing on my mound, his finger slipping to the growing moisture and heat beginning to soak my panties. It was growing late, my breath was fast my body began to tingle and I ached for what I had not experienced in my 19 yrs. I broke away from him, nervous, mumbling that I had not been with a man before. I think he was a little shocked and pulled back. I wish he hadn't. He asked me to come to a party he was having at his house the coming weekend. I left longing for the weekend ahead.
The party was like any other, loud, happy, with alcohol and many people. In fact I don't remember too much about it, but I remember clearly after the party. R stood behind me in the half light, passed out bodies and quiet around us. His hands traced my thighs and came up to rest on my ample breasts, my nipples stiffened with the excitement of his touch through my blouse. His mouth played on my neck, my right ear dropping to my shoulder in elation as he sucked and bit my neck. He propelled me forward, through his bedroom door, pushing me with some amount of force that thrilled me to the bone, though I was not aware of it at the time, but I was about to have my first experience of domination. This is how I was to lose my virginity, to relinquish it to an older man, experienced and bending me to his will.
He lifted my arms and pulled my blouse over my head exposing my young untouched body and my breasts cupped gently in a white lace bra. Still behind me, his fingers slid down over my body coming to rest on my thighs, sliding his hand to the front and in between my legs he took hold of my mound and slipped his finger over the top of my summer skirt and panties to rub and circle my clit. I was hot, wet and a sense of embarrassment at my wetness overwhelmed me. I tried to pull away. His other hand slid up under my skirt and his fingers pulled aside my panties and slipped between my growing moist lips and rested on them, threatening to slide inside my pussy. I gasped with surprise and a growing excitement. He held me tight and in such a way that to try and break myself free from his hold would send his fingers deeper into me, the slightest movement and he would push his finger a tiny bit further into my wetness. I let go a slight whimper and I wasn't sure if it was trepidation or excitement. I didn't know what to expect. I was naive sexually, but being held, unable to move without the threat of violation began to excite me, the heat grew between my thighs and I ached for him to penetrate me further.
"Shhhhh" he muttered into my left ear, his lips resting on my ear, his hot breath sending a thrill through my body. His fingers slid between my thighs, he was coating my thighs with my own heat and wetness. half pushing half pulling me to the mattress on the floor...what can i say, we were all students, no-one had a bed under their mattress...
He pushed his fingers deep inside me, my virginity being violated, but god it felt good. My head swimming with the oxygen I was taking in in big gulps. Not able to think, to dream, to resist. This has been a condition of sexual excitement for me ever since. In the heat of a mans touch, I cannot think, safe words are forgotten, a condition which has been enjoyed by men, knowing that I will forget in the moment whatever word has been decided upon.
His hand slid out of me and grabbed my arse, so hard that I squealed and gasped with surprise and a bit of pain. My body shook with excitement and still behind me, he sunk his teeth into my neck, as he bent me and pushed into my tight virgin cunt. He pushed my face further into the bed and pulled my hips to him, forcing his throbbing shaft into me. I remember the fear tinged elation as it began to dawn on me that I was being fucked in a way that was so thrilling to me. It felt completely right and good though this is not what I had been told sex was! Missionary 101 was what I had expected and this was way beyond anything I had imagined. It was hot, hard, and all I knew was that I wanted this to be forever. I wanted to worship this cock, his cock and this act for the rest of my life. I should have known then that this was what I was going to be searching for in all my experiences with men..but what does a 19 year old girl know? nothing!
He pulled my arms back to him with each thrust, tits bouncing and the pain searing but fleeting, I was not a virgin anymore, fucked magnificently a smile stretching across my mouth ..that's all I think I thought as I whimpered and moaned. Each thrust, propelling me forward while he exerted a counter pressure pulling me back by my wrists.
I could feel my heart beating, my own juices flowing down my thighs, tingling and building I thought I would explode, my head, my cunt in unison wanting to do something but I did not know what. What a wonderful and ecstatic surprise as the waves came through me, spreading out from my fucked cunt, rippling through my body, every muscle clenching and releasing in warmth and ecstasy. A moan turned into a scream and came from my lungs so deep it didn't sound like anything I had ever heard come from me. I was aware of his cry at the same time. So primal it scared me...he collapse into me and on top of me pushing me down onto the bed where we lay, feeling the wave of orgasm move through us, tears falling down my cheeks. I was so overwhelmed I couldn't move. He put his arms around me, rivulets of sweat mingling and pulled me close, stroking my hair. He kissed me on the head and on the lips.
"Shhh..its OK" ...and it was. It was more than OK, it was fantastic! and I have been grateful to him all my life for my first time.