Friday, September 29, 2017

Sir's girl no more

This morning after a couple of months of wondering, Whats going on? Why have things changed?
I wanted to know.
I needed to know.
I felt the right to know.
I felt unwanted and unloved.
Maybe it was nothing to do with me, but whatever was happening it was impacting me.
After unsuccessful attempts to see Him to talk to Him. I asked:
'Do you want to keep seeing me?'
' ...Yes'
then a change,
'No.. actually I think a break may be a good idea.'

nothing more,
nothing said,
nothing offered,
after 6 years of my implicit trust... nothing more than cool indifference.

He has been my secret for all this time. I write it here then for an anonymous world. For no-one and everyone to see. Heart on fucking sleeve! I write it for me.

I feel deeply hurt.

There have been two men in my life. Two men I have loved and both I have trusted.

One of these men took me to depths of trust. He slowly built that trust until He had it more deeply than I thought anyone could trust another human.  He could do anything He wanted to me and with me and I trusted Him implicitly. He had my life and well-being in His bare massive, strong hand. I never thought I'd be hurt by Him.

So what do I do when the love affair is finished?  What happens when Sir isn't Sir anymore? What happens when the ring comes off? What happens when you can't get off the couch? Just confusion! What just happened?

Friday, September 30, 2016

little has been away from here

Little has been away from here. Just living life.
I have thought over the months about shutting this page. I'm still doing this in secret and nervous to be found out. I almost had to shut down just trying to get back in here. I'd forgotten the log-ons having never written anything down.

I am still submissive to Sir, though not as often as I would like for the same old reasons. His life, my life and that is not a life together.
Mentor Daddy is still here...tick!
I have had doubts over this year about whether I am in fact, a submissive girl. I still wear my ring and I tingle when he says certain things.

I got a speeding fine the other day. My first in a very long time. I was devastated that I had cost my family an unnecessary burden. I was irritated with myself that I had been so careless, so reckless.

When I told Sir about the fine He said, 'Well that was very naughty. Don't go so fast, don't speed. I have followed your car and you go too fast!'
My mouth hit the floor. He thinks I speed? 
'You think I speed?'
'Yes you do.'
I was stunned that he had never said anything. I didn't quite believe him. I thought he was making it up and I couldn't understand why he hadn't said anything before. Even through my misgivings, I felt relief  as He admonished me for being naughty. In truth, this is why I told him. I needed him to disapprove. I needed Him to take care of His girl; to tell her she was bad. Hell's bells I had said worse to myself. I was upset about my transgression, but when he said a simple, calm, 'Well that was very naughty,' as we sat eating omelette and toast on a bright sunny morning, I was overwhelmingly relieved.
'Don't speed again!'
'Yes Daddy.'

After breakfast He took His girl to the room and flogged her naughty arse.

I have been very careful to take notice of my speed  and stay under the limit ever since.
sourced from the interweb

Monday, February 15, 2016

a day with Daddy

I did get some time with Daddy last Friday.
School went back. It was the first time we've been able to get together for weeks, months actually. 
I was very skitchy. I needed to be controlled, overwhelmed, and I told him so. 

He was very harsh with me...very. He probably thinks not, but it hurt, it stung, I was marked.
It was what I needed, what I ached for and longed for.

I was 10 mins late. Not on purpose. That's what he used...all day. It was needed. There were tears. There was screaming. There was begging. He made me use my words. I called him a bastard for doing it, for making me use my words. That was simply more reason for punishment.

I admit I couldn't stop laughing and then crying. I am such a wimp!
I could tell He needed it too. He needed to make me cry. He wanted to hurt me. He needed to cause me pain. He is not entirely comfortable with that side of himself. He tried to deny it for a very long time. I saw it, from the very beginning I knew it was there. I liked it. I loved it when He exercised it without hesitation.

He gave me sustenance. We lunched and drank wine followed by a wonderful afternoon nap.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

a return to remember

I might have returned..I'm not quite sure. I am excited to have seen the title to this blog again. I am excited to return.

Sir is still my Sir,
Mentor Daddy is still mentor Daddy.
I am still a slut to Him but I admit to finding that word hard to swallow....I am a nice girl. bah!

I love the rope..I love to watch His hands as he ties the rope...nothing changes.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Sirs pleasure

Sir Daddy took me to lunch yesterday. There is something very vanilla in some things we do. Still a girl and her Sir have to eat too..and one of my favourite thing is enjoying lovely food and wine.

I like it when He takes His girl to lunch or maybe breakfast. He chooses food for me to eat and wine to drink. He always asks what I would like but His girl never answers. The naughty little brat makes Him decide what she will eat. It's got to be tough being relied on to make all the choices, but we are not 24/7 and I make enough choices when He is not there. I love it when He is there to take the burden away from me and decide on salad or pizza or fish. I like seeing Him away from the room for this very reason, to make those everyday choices for His girl.

He takes me on His motorbike, He takes me in His big car. There's no 50 shades slick helicopters and limo's about this vehicle. It's man size for a man size man.  I like to crawl up into His car and onto His bike. Every thing in His world is big, powerful and sure of itself. That's very alluring to me.

There is 1200cc wrapped in His BMW bike. (My first car had 1200cc!). The bike is so tall that I need a gutter or a step or any nearby rock to climb on board. He takes me around the country side and He is careful when He rides with His girl. I trust Him when I am on the back of that bike. He has ridden all His life. He has raced and toured. He likes to do unspeakable things with His girl on these journeys. He plays with her in the quiet bush that He finds on occasion and then returns her a little flustered and satisfied with a breathless air about her and the cobwebs blown away.

The warm weather is coming...the girl will be back on the bike soon.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Coming for Him

Last night the task was completed. The girl lay in the dark.. She had received permission from both men. On request her imagination bent her over His lap. Her hand on her compact button, she twirled and swirled. She felt the sting of His hand, the vibration in her pinkness, the hardening of her nipples. She came as instructed...barely a sound so she wouldn't be found doing those naughty things that He had told her to do. 

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Daddy says...bedtime!

Daddy Sir is making me go to bed at 9pm.
I hate going to bed early...
but i love it when He makes me go to bed early.

Nite nite, Daddy Sir says I have to go to bed now. 

bedtime - Photographer unknown 

Friday, June 5, 2015

daddy's squirter

 From the draft folder (since I can't think to write lately.....)

"I am going to make My girl squirt."
"I can't make any promises Sir."
"I'm not asking you..."
"Yes Sir."

Matching bra and panties as instructed, He walked around her admiring the view. He removed her bra, pinching her nipples as He neatly discarded the black lace.

Up on the bench on your hands and knees.

Her delicious arse wiggled. His finger hooked Her panties and ripped them downwards, exposing her pink flesh to Him. She loved the forceful nature of being peeled back to reveal her sex to Him.

The rattle of the metal as he clipped the ankle cuffs to the spreader bar made her breathless. She had little idea what she was in for. She had forgotten the texts from the day before. He hand slid between  her legs, her shoulder and face on the bench.

The other one. Click and clank she was secured to the spreader bar. Wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs and spreader bar and the girl was exposed, vulnerable, open. He enjoyed her arse, probing and playing. Her moans grew. She wriggled and pushed back against Him. Begging Him to play deeper.

photographer unknown

Thursday, June 4, 2015

strung up

I haven't been able to write lately. I have been all a twitter ...not on Twitter, just all over the place. Life is a bit bizarre and there's so much I want to spill, so much I want to write down, but that would spill my secrets. I am a little confused. I hate that. I hate not being able to act like a grown up. I hate not being sensible, calm, centered, reasonable.

I have a sick feeling in the pit of my tummy all the way to the back of my throat. I feel a little bit alone. Sigh*...this too will pass. 

Photographer unknown 

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

sluts back

She's back from a time with her Sir.
There was sun, wine, good food and play. Oh my, lots and lots of play.

I was so excited to meet Him.
We met on a hill, on a country road. He claimed His girl with His touch and a sharp hard spanking to each cheeky bottom. Instantly I became aroused. If I had not been before, I certainly was now.

I followed Him to the house He had rented for the weekend and we decanted our gear into the palace of play. He lit a fire to keep His girl warm into the naked evening and we ate cheese and bread to sustain us into the night.

... a little bit later...

He opened His 'busy bag' and began to pull things from it with great ceremony. The whips and floggers, the girls restraints, red leather cuffs and Her collar and chains that rattled that sweet clanking song as their silver shimmered. There were spreader bars, clamps and a silver metal Wartenberg pinwheel extracted from the bag.

When He finished He turned to face His girl and began to pull her from her clothes. He loves to undress His girl, to find hidden surprises underneath before making her completely bare and naked in front of Him. She would remain this way for the rest of the weekend apart from the couple of times He allowed her to dress to go out in public, albeit without panties.

His hands ran over her every inch, just like the very first time a few years back when she stood naked for Him in the room.

Let the games begin...

by little